Greetings again. Well, we made it through our second week. As of today, I have received two of six chemotherapy infusions and nine of thirty radiation treatments.
At a third of the way towards the line of victory, I sit here not quite certain of my own emotions. I am encouraged that I made it through two weeks without feeling miserable. The fact I have dodged some of the common side-effects gives me hope that I'll make it through this entire ordeal with minimal torment. The treatments have been easy, and the people I have met so far have made up for the constant traveling to and from medical appointments. I am also feeling nervous, scared, and anxious knowing that the last two weeks have been nothing compared to those ahead of me. Lastly, I am feeling depressed. The loss of taste sensation has hit me hard... as I expected it would. I didn't know how hard it would be to eat when food tastes so bad. You would think it be easy to plug one's nose and ignore the bad taste for the sake of nutrition. This is not the case. Just knowing that food will not taste good has had a profound psychological effect, crushing my appetite completely. I am forcing myself to eat simply because I know it is necessary for my health. I think I would be happier not eating so I can remember foods as they should be... when I found them delightful.
I woke-up this morning with an irritation in my throat. It has been persistent all day, and nothing seems to provide relief. I made the salt and baking soda solution that has come highly recommended by many. It helps with the dry mouth, but not so much for throat irritation. I can also feel a couple small raw patches of skin developing in my soft pallet. I imagine these will develop into sores over the next couple days. There doesn't appear to be much of a difference in my skin today. It is obvious the radiation is more focused toward the left side of my neck than the right... which is expected based on the treatment plan. The skin on the left side of my neck is slightly more red than the right side. Also, the fluid build-up (lymphedema) is more pronounced on the left side.
Speaking of lymphedema... It looks and feels as though the lymphedema treatments are working. Jess helps message my neck every night before bed. I think her efforts are largely responsible for my neck feeling better. We will continue to work the skin for as long as we can.
There really isn't too much more to report today. This was day one for the kids' summer vacation, so my morning was not as quiet and relaxing as it usually is.
I convinced Jacee to join Jess and I for today's radiation treatment. She was allowed back to the treatment room to watch as the nurses secured me into my mask. I couldn't see her expression, but the nurse said she looked quite taken-back by the whole thing.
Treatment went well today. I had to say good-bye to Sam and his family, as well as Doug. Today was the last treatment for both gentlemen. I am extremely happy for the both of them, and I hope they both have clear PET scans in a couple weeks. It was bitter-sweet. The clinic gave each of them a certificate and a long stem carnation. Now that I think of it... the clinic also gave each of them a fighting chance, a cure of sorts, and a new hope at life without cancer. I look forward to my day...
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