Thank Goodness It's Friday!
I don't know about you, but I have big plans for my 4th of July weekend. First, I'm going to wake-up every morning and hack-up tons of mucus. Shoot... I might even throw-in a good vomiting just to mix things up. Then, I'll sit in front of the T.V. and watch a T.V. series...maybe a good movie. Instead of popcorn, I'll pump my belly full of yummy goodness called Liquid Hope. If I'm lucky, I may even work-in a nap or two, but I don't know... I may be asking for too much. At night, I'll watch some more T.V. with Jess and head to bed.
I know this sounds like the dream vacation plan. If you would like to talk to travel agents, let me know - I'll text their numbers to you.
Okay... enough of the sarcasm.
I'm starting to go stir-crazy. Being home this much cannot be good for someone. Unfortunately, Jess has to earn the bread money, so I'm stuck here. I'm am an extrovert, which means I draw my life energy from being around other people. The worst thing you can do to an extrovert is close them off to society. I don't even need to necessarily talk to people... I could just sit and watch people at the mall. It would be better than what I'm doing now... which is nearly nothing. If this keeps-up, I might be forced to start playing World of Warcraft. At least then I can talk to people online.
Okay, I'll end my little pity-party and get back to what you want to know.
Today started of horribly. I got out of bed the same time Jess was getting ready for work. I immediately went to the sink, knowing I would need to hack-up a cup or two of mucus. As expected, I coughed-up a good amount on the first go. But, there was something a little different in the way my throat was feeling. My windpipe felt closed off. I attempted to swallow, but it was immediately met with resistance and my gag reflex going into full vomit mode.
I quickly stood-up and began to take nice slow breaths... hoping I could reverse the urge to throw-up. Luckily I was thinking like a genius and began pumping water into my feeding tube. I knew that if I was going to throw-up, the water would help dilute the bile, making it less caustic. I went back to my breathing, but I was having such a hard time. I started coughing, which only irritated my need to vomit, and then... all poop broke loose.
I entered into an extremely violent combination of gagging, hacking, vomiting, coughing, wheezing, gasping, and grunting. The entire thing was a nightmare. I was fighting for my breath while attempting to do my best to rid as much of the mucus as I could. It was so violent that I immediately developed a killer headache. My entire body was shaking and felt weak. My skin felt cool and tingly... as if I had almost hit that point of passing-out. My face was colorless, and covered in cold sweat.
Jess was standing behind me, rubbing my back. She knew there was little she could do other than cheer me on. I wanted to cry.
I don't know how long this mucositis will last, but I'm pretty confident this violent episode may become a normal part of my morning routine.
The good news is, my day was pretty much smooth sailing for the rest of the day. I was still hacking-up mucus, but nothing outrageous. The ulcer on my tongue didn't give me too many issues today. In fact, I used much less mouth-rinse today than I normal do.
As night approaches, I can tell my mucus levels are increasing. I'm spitting-up way more than I did earlier... in both volume and duration.
I hope you all have a swell Fourth of July weekend. Remember, it's not about how many hotdogs you can shove in your face. It's a time for US Americans to stop and give thanks for our independence as a nation. Do us all a favor... stop a child and ask if they understand why independence is important. If they don't know... educate them. Then... give them a big hug. Once you're filled with all that Care Bear happiness... find someone of a different political party and give them Big Ol' Hug. Tell them you love them as a fellow American... no matter how much y'all disagree.
Finally... remember we still have men and women in harms way fighting to protect our independence and freedoms. Take a moment to give thanks to their efforts!
Friday, June 30, 2017
Thursday, June 29, 2017
On the Path of Recovery - Day 2
Hello world.
Day two of recovery has been decent. To be honest... the only side effects I am dealing with are: sore throat, mouth sores, uncontrollable mucusitis, a stiff neck, and some ringing in my ears. My burnt neck is now just a hot mess of dry, peeling skin; no pain associated with it at all. I know the list of side effects may seem long, but to be honest... the sore throat is fine as long as I don't swallow. The mouth sores are a problem, but I have so many different mouth rinses with numbing agents that even the sores are rarely an issue. The mucusitis seems to be have a mind of its own... I'll elaborate more in a sec. I've gotten used to the stiff neck, as well as the ringing in my ears. So, really I'm dealing with some easily controlled pain and a crap ton of annoying mucus. Oh... as fatigue. I almost forgot that I'm constantly out of energy.
So, this mucus... I woke-up today with VERY little mucus. I worked-up one mouth full, spit it out, and I was done. I didn't feel as though I had to fight for my life... gasping for breaths as I choke and cough - all while fighting off the urge to throw-up. This did not happen this morning. I was stunned. Certainly I'm not already experiencing the decline of these side-effects after only two days?!?
Well, the mucus was under control for much of the day. I did spit-up some mucus once in awhile, but nothing outrageous like Wednesday was. If it stays like this... I'd be stoked.
As the day grew-on, the mucus began to develop more and more. I don't know what is driving it to produce, but I really want to find out. By the time Jess got home this afternoon, I was coughing up every five to ten minutes. Later in the evening, I was having these spats where I would cough and hack for a constant three to five minutes before feeling any sense of relief. Oh, this is not dry coughing or dry hacking. I am producing tons of mucus. My only guess is that I dehydrate at night, and as I re-hydrate throughout the day, the mucus production begins to increase. It makes sense to me... but, what the heck? What am I supposed to do, not hydrate? ...It might not be a bad idea... I've also noticed there are certain actions that the mucus fits as well. Talking is the biggest culprit. I don't know if it's the vibrations in my throat... or, I don't know. The other is swallowing. Even dry swallowing will sometimes initiate one of those mucus fits.
I don't know how this whole mucus thing sounds from the perspective of a reader, but I promise you... if you heard what goes on, you would be repulsed.
Today really hasn't been all that bad. Like I said... most of the torture came towards the afternoon. I relaxed for much of the day bouncing around Hulu and Netflix. When Jess got home, we ran to Walmart real quick so I could help her get some rock salt for our water softener. This evening, we sat down together to watch "America's Got Talent." Now, we're winding down and getting ready to call an end to this day.
Another one down and tomorrow is Friday...woohoo!
Day two of recovery has been decent. To be honest... the only side effects I am dealing with are: sore throat, mouth sores, uncontrollable mucusitis, a stiff neck, and some ringing in my ears. My burnt neck is now just a hot mess of dry, peeling skin; no pain associated with it at all. I know the list of side effects may seem long, but to be honest... the sore throat is fine as long as I don't swallow. The mouth sores are a problem, but I have so many different mouth rinses with numbing agents that even the sores are rarely an issue. The mucusitis seems to be have a mind of its own... I'll elaborate more in a sec. I've gotten used to the stiff neck, as well as the ringing in my ears. So, really I'm dealing with some easily controlled pain and a crap ton of annoying mucus. Oh... as fatigue. I almost forgot that I'm constantly out of energy.
So, this mucus... I woke-up today with VERY little mucus. I worked-up one mouth full, spit it out, and I was done. I didn't feel as though I had to fight for my life... gasping for breaths as I choke and cough - all while fighting off the urge to throw-up. This did not happen this morning. I was stunned. Certainly I'm not already experiencing the decline of these side-effects after only two days?!?
Well, the mucus was under control for much of the day. I did spit-up some mucus once in awhile, but nothing outrageous like Wednesday was. If it stays like this... I'd be stoked.
As the day grew-on, the mucus began to develop more and more. I don't know what is driving it to produce, but I really want to find out. By the time Jess got home this afternoon, I was coughing up every five to ten minutes. Later in the evening, I was having these spats where I would cough and hack for a constant three to five minutes before feeling any sense of relief. Oh, this is not dry coughing or dry hacking. I am producing tons of mucus. My only guess is that I dehydrate at night, and as I re-hydrate throughout the day, the mucus production begins to increase. It makes sense to me... but, what the heck? What am I supposed to do, not hydrate? ...It might not be a bad idea... I've also noticed there are certain actions that the mucus fits as well. Talking is the biggest culprit. I don't know if it's the vibrations in my throat... or, I don't know. The other is swallowing. Even dry swallowing will sometimes initiate one of those mucus fits.
I don't know how this whole mucus thing sounds from the perspective of a reader, but I promise you... if you heard what goes on, you would be repulsed.
Today really hasn't been all that bad. Like I said... most of the torture came towards the afternoon. I relaxed for much of the day bouncing around Hulu and Netflix. When Jess got home, we ran to Walmart real quick so I could help her get some rock salt for our water softener. This evening, we sat down together to watch "America's Got Talent." Now, we're winding down and getting ready to call an end to this day.
Another one down and tomorrow is Friday...woohoo!
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
On the Path of Recovery - Day 1
Hello family and friends! I'm so glad to see you back.
I was very taken by the overwhelming support you all provided me last night in your likes and comments. Like I said, that journey would have been completely different without you.
I've decided to continue blogging. First, some of you request it, and I'm a man of my word. And second, I thought about the blog and felt by stopping, the blog wouldn't be complete. There is a lot of mystery surrounding this recovery phase. Will my recovery be fast, or drag-on for months? Will I develop new side-effects I had presented during treatment? Regardless what the answers are, I feel it is important to document this journey in its entirety.
So, last night was not fun. I had to get-up every twenty to thirty minutes to hack-up a nasty mucus ball. The good thing is... I'm learning how to clear it quickly, so the entire process only lasts a couple seconds. Waking-up startled is not fun, but at least I'm not hanging my head over the sink for twenty minutes.
Today was decent. My mucus was under control for most of the day. There was a short duration when it was out of control, but I'll talk about that in a minute. I'm glad to report that my neck burns no longer hurt, but the skin is now peeling. The peeled skin looks like it would if you got a really bad sunburn. My swallowing is getting really difficult. Part of the problem is all the coughing and hacking I'm doing to clear the mucus, so its hard to tell. Regardless... I need to make sure I don't loose that function. The sore on my tongue is outrageous! It looks like a burn that spans the side of my tongue. It's as thick as a pencil and runs for about an inch and a half. The pain becomes so bad that I'm am now using my Lidocaine rinse throughout the day.
I attempted a workout on my exercise bike today. I was careful not to push myself, only riding for ten minutes with a low resistance. It didn't take long for my heart rate to reach 100. It continued to climb, eventually leveling off around 126. It felt good getting my heart rate up. I was amazed at how quickly I began to sweat. This exercise would have been nothing six month ago, but now its making me sweat. I guess I'm more out of shape than I thought.
I sat down to relax after my workout. I was hacking-up mucus uncontrollably. I mean... I don't know how my body was possibly producing mucus that quickly. I even commented to Jess that this was the first time today the mucus had given me much of a problem. Like right now... at 8:45 in the evening... the mucus is not that big of a deal. I get the urge to spit-up every fifteen to twenty minutes, but nothing like what was going on after that workout.
Anyways, I don't know if I'm going to continue working out quite yet. I might wait until this mucus nonsense is behind me.
My first recovery day was okay. I'm going stir-crazy at home, but cannot drive myself anywhere due to the meds I'm on. I can't just sit outside because it's over 100 degrees. Hey... it could be worst! I'm glad to be alive.
Thanks again for the overwhelming outpour of support.
I was very taken by the overwhelming support you all provided me last night in your likes and comments. Like I said, that journey would have been completely different without you.
I've decided to continue blogging. First, some of you request it, and I'm a man of my word. And second, I thought about the blog and felt by stopping, the blog wouldn't be complete. There is a lot of mystery surrounding this recovery phase. Will my recovery be fast, or drag-on for months? Will I develop new side-effects I had presented during treatment? Regardless what the answers are, I feel it is important to document this journey in its entirety.
So, last night was not fun. I had to get-up every twenty to thirty minutes to hack-up a nasty mucus ball. The good thing is... I'm learning how to clear it quickly, so the entire process only lasts a couple seconds. Waking-up startled is not fun, but at least I'm not hanging my head over the sink for twenty minutes.
Today was decent. My mucus was under control for most of the day. There was a short duration when it was out of control, but I'll talk about that in a minute. I'm glad to report that my neck burns no longer hurt, but the skin is now peeling. The peeled skin looks like it would if you got a really bad sunburn. My swallowing is getting really difficult. Part of the problem is all the coughing and hacking I'm doing to clear the mucus, so its hard to tell. Regardless... I need to make sure I don't loose that function. The sore on my tongue is outrageous! It looks like a burn that spans the side of my tongue. It's as thick as a pencil and runs for about an inch and a half. The pain becomes so bad that I'm am now using my Lidocaine rinse throughout the day.
I attempted a workout on my exercise bike today. I was careful not to push myself, only riding for ten minutes with a low resistance. It didn't take long for my heart rate to reach 100. It continued to climb, eventually leveling off around 126. It felt good getting my heart rate up. I was amazed at how quickly I began to sweat. This exercise would have been nothing six month ago, but now its making me sweat. I guess I'm more out of shape than I thought.
I sat down to relax after my workout. I was hacking-up mucus uncontrollably. I mean... I don't know how my body was possibly producing mucus that quickly. I even commented to Jess that this was the first time today the mucus had given me much of a problem. Like right now... at 8:45 in the evening... the mucus is not that big of a deal. I get the urge to spit-up every fifteen to twenty minutes, but nothing like what was going on after that workout.
Anyways, I don't know if I'm going to continue working out quite yet. I might wait until this mucus nonsense is behind me.
My first recovery day was okay. I'm going stir-crazy at home, but cannot drive myself anywhere due to the meds I'm on. I can't just sit outside because it's over 100 degrees. Hey... it could be worst! I'm glad to be alive.
Thanks again for the overwhelming outpour of support.
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 44
Congrats! We made it through our entire cancer treatment. First, a complex surgery that included a partial glossectomy and radical neck dissection. Then, a combination attack that included six rounds of chemotherapy and thirty rounds of radiation. It has been brutal to say the least!
I say "we made it" because I feel all of you have been standing next to me throughout this entire journey. I cannot begin to qualify nor quantify the support I've received. I have no doubt in my mind this journey would have been a complete nightmare without the daily support of all you readers. You see... even if you don't leave a message, I can see how many visitors have taken the time to read each blog entry. I never would have expected to have over one-hundred people taking a daily interest in one man's blog.
I tried to give you a look into my life. I tried not to hold back my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to leave an unedited story of my life that might one day help someone else facing their own adversity in life. You have allowed me to remain resilient. There were days when I definitely fell hard. But, with your support, I was able to see past the temporary sufferings and push forward with my head held high.
Today has been a little better than yesterday. My mouth still hurts quite a bit, but my energy level seems to have improved overnight. It might be the emotional high I'm on for having completed my last radiation treatment. I'm still coughing-up every couple minutes, but at least we resolved the issue of running to a sink. Jess hooked me up with some Styrofoam cups to carry around. It's way more convenient.
Jess and I headed out to my final radiation treatment at our normal time. By the time we got there, my mouth was hurting pretty bad. There is one sore on the side of my tongue that likes to give me trouble. When it hurts... life is not fun. Anyways, when the nurse came out to get me, I asked if it was possible I get some kind of lidocaine rinse for my mouth. My doc was in his north office today, so she had to call him. (I didn't think my request would initiate such an issue.) Well, they didn't have any rinses there in the clinic, but could have a request submitted to have a dose bought to the clinic from the E.R. I didn't want to prolong this visit any longer than I had to, so I declined the offer and bite the bullet.
The treatment went well. I could feel some mucus slowly making its way toward my airway with only a minute or two of treatment left. I was nervous, but made it without having to freak-out. The nurses were very nice and gave me a certificate and a carnation for having completed my final treatment. I also got to keep my mask. I don't know what I'll do with it, but I figured the kids might get a kick out of it.
My plan for recovery is to attempt a daily workout. I have an exercise bike that I really like, so I may start there. I'm really bad at pushing myself too hard, expecting immediate results, so I need to be more deliberate with my plan to avoid burn-out. I'll figure something out tomorrow!
I'm not sure how interesting my journey will be during the recovery process, but I am willing to keep you up-to-date if that is something you desire. I know this has been a long, exhausting journey. I can continue to blog daily or space the days out a little. You let me know.
Last thing... my GoFundMe is still going. It seems to have stalled-out, but I'm also not sure confident the links on Facebook and Instagram have been working. I you wouldn't mind, help me out by spreading the word. The web address for my GoFundMe page is:
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
I say "we made it" because I feel all of you have been standing next to me throughout this entire journey. I cannot begin to qualify nor quantify the support I've received. I have no doubt in my mind this journey would have been a complete nightmare without the daily support of all you readers. You see... even if you don't leave a message, I can see how many visitors have taken the time to read each blog entry. I never would have expected to have over one-hundred people taking a daily interest in one man's blog.
I tried to give you a look into my life. I tried not to hold back my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to leave an unedited story of my life that might one day help someone else facing their own adversity in life. You have allowed me to remain resilient. There were days when I definitely fell hard. But, with your support, I was able to see past the temporary sufferings and push forward with my head held high.
Today has been a little better than yesterday. My mouth still hurts quite a bit, but my energy level seems to have improved overnight. It might be the emotional high I'm on for having completed my last radiation treatment. I'm still coughing-up every couple minutes, but at least we resolved the issue of running to a sink. Jess hooked me up with some Styrofoam cups to carry around. It's way more convenient.
Jess and I headed out to my final radiation treatment at our normal time. By the time we got there, my mouth was hurting pretty bad. There is one sore on the side of my tongue that likes to give me trouble. When it hurts... life is not fun. Anyways, when the nurse came out to get me, I asked if it was possible I get some kind of lidocaine rinse for my mouth. My doc was in his north office today, so she had to call him. (I didn't think my request would initiate such an issue.) Well, they didn't have any rinses there in the clinic, but could have a request submitted to have a dose bought to the clinic from the E.R. I didn't want to prolong this visit any longer than I had to, so I declined the offer and bite the bullet.
The treatment went well. I could feel some mucus slowly making its way toward my airway with only a minute or two of treatment left. I was nervous, but made it without having to freak-out. The nurses were very nice and gave me a certificate and a carnation for having completed my final treatment. I also got to keep my mask. I don't know what I'll do with it, but I figured the kids might get a kick out of it.
My plan for recovery is to attempt a daily workout. I have an exercise bike that I really like, so I may start there. I'm really bad at pushing myself too hard, expecting immediate results, so I need to be more deliberate with my plan to avoid burn-out. I'll figure something out tomorrow!
I'm not sure how interesting my journey will be during the recovery process, but I am willing to keep you up-to-date if that is something you desire. I know this has been a long, exhausting journey. I can continue to blog daily or space the days out a little. You let me know.
Last thing... my GoFundMe is still going. It seems to have stalled-out, but I'm also not sure confident the links on Facebook and Instagram have been working. I you wouldn't mind, help me out by spreading the word. The web address for my GoFundMe page is:
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
Monday, June 26, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 43
Hello.
Today has been crummy. The sores in my mouth are getting out of hand. Painkillers are barely numbing the pain. The only thing that helps is to not move my mouth or tongue whatsoever. In fact... I've now written more words in this blog entry than I've spoken all day. I've used my rinses over and over again, but they only provide temporary relief. The mucus continues to haunt my day, and has become an agitator for the pain. With every clearing of my airway, I am reminded of the huge sore on the side of my tongue.
I can barely swallow. I've been trying all day long in fear of completely loosing the ability, but swallowing becomes increasingly difficult with each attempt. When I do swallow, it feels like bits of glass and sandpaper are scratching every bit of tissue on their way down.
My appointment went well today. I was called back quick, and left quick. I don't think there were but five words exchanged between the nurses and me. Luckily, they understand my situation and didn;t seem put-off by my rude nature.
I tried taking a nap today, but was unsuccessful. I was tired, but just couldn't sleep.
Tomorrow is my last treatment. Lets hope all goes well and that my recovery is swift.
Today has been crummy. The sores in my mouth are getting out of hand. Painkillers are barely numbing the pain. The only thing that helps is to not move my mouth or tongue whatsoever. In fact... I've now written more words in this blog entry than I've spoken all day. I've used my rinses over and over again, but they only provide temporary relief. The mucus continues to haunt my day, and has become an agitator for the pain. With every clearing of my airway, I am reminded of the huge sore on the side of my tongue.
I can barely swallow. I've been trying all day long in fear of completely loosing the ability, but swallowing becomes increasingly difficult with each attempt. When I do swallow, it feels like bits of glass and sandpaper are scratching every bit of tissue on their way down.
My appointment went well today. I was called back quick, and left quick. I don't think there were but five words exchanged between the nurses and me. Luckily, they understand my situation and didn;t seem put-off by my rude nature.
I tried taking a nap today, but was unsuccessful. I was tired, but just couldn't sleep.
Tomorrow is my last treatment. Lets hope all goes well and that my recovery is swift.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 42
Hi. I hope you all had another great weekend.
Today was a little scary. I woke-up this morning to an extremely sore throat. I could hardly swallow, which only improved slightly as the day progressed. Talking has become a bit of a chore. Not only am I choking on mucus, I am also experiencing some pain as I try to get words out. There were a couple times today where Jess couple not understand me after I repeated myself two or three times. It required me to nearly scream at her before she could understand me. I feel bad and hope she realizes I was not mad at her, but at the crappy situation I've found myself in.
The end cannot come soon enough. These silly side-effects are taking their toll on my morale. As if the sore throat isn't enough, I am also plagued with multiple side-effects which only further and/or enhance the pain. All this hacking and coughing is killing me. The sticky mucus disgusts me, as does the Aquaphor all over my neck... now so thick, shower water can no longer penetrate it. My skin is breaking out in both pimples and blisters. And, I'm exhausted. I get tired SO fast. Not sleepy tired, but full body exhausted within minutes of walking around.
The doctors warned me the damage caused my chemo and radiation will not begin to reverse itself for two to three weeks after treatments ends. In fact, it is highly likely my side-effects worsen before they get better. This is going to make for some extremely long weeks. It seems like I take notice to all my ailments more when I'm at home, so not having appointments to attend is going to draw my attention to all these side-effects that drive me nuts.
Anyways... we made through another weekend. This week will provide another huge milestone: completing the last of my treatments. I am grateful! Now for the hardest part... dealing with myself as my body continues on the roller-coaster. The light is there. The tunnel may be long yet, but at least there is a light. I must continue telling myself that.
On a lighter note... I can't express how thankful I am to all of you. Your prayers and well-wishes are greatly apprciated and provide me the strength I need to push-on.
Let's have a wonderful week, shall we?
Today was a little scary. I woke-up this morning to an extremely sore throat. I could hardly swallow, which only improved slightly as the day progressed. Talking has become a bit of a chore. Not only am I choking on mucus, I am also experiencing some pain as I try to get words out. There were a couple times today where Jess couple not understand me after I repeated myself two or three times. It required me to nearly scream at her before she could understand me. I feel bad and hope she realizes I was not mad at her, but at the crappy situation I've found myself in.
The end cannot come soon enough. These silly side-effects are taking their toll on my morale. As if the sore throat isn't enough, I am also plagued with multiple side-effects which only further and/or enhance the pain. All this hacking and coughing is killing me. The sticky mucus disgusts me, as does the Aquaphor all over my neck... now so thick, shower water can no longer penetrate it. My skin is breaking out in both pimples and blisters. And, I'm exhausted. I get tired SO fast. Not sleepy tired, but full body exhausted within minutes of walking around.
The doctors warned me the damage caused my chemo and radiation will not begin to reverse itself for two to three weeks after treatments ends. In fact, it is highly likely my side-effects worsen before they get better. This is going to make for some extremely long weeks. It seems like I take notice to all my ailments more when I'm at home, so not having appointments to attend is going to draw my attention to all these side-effects that drive me nuts.
Anyways... we made through another weekend. This week will provide another huge milestone: completing the last of my treatments. I am grateful! Now for the hardest part... dealing with myself as my body continues on the roller-coaster. The light is there. The tunnel may be long yet, but at least there is a light. I must continue telling myself that.
On a lighter note... I can't express how thankful I am to all of you. Your prayers and well-wishes are greatly apprciated and provide me the strength I need to push-on.
Let's have a wonderful week, shall we?
Saturday, June 24, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 41
Hello fellow warriors!
Well, we are one day down with one day left before this weekend is in the books. Normally, I'd want my weekends to drag by nice and slow, but my weekends are not filled with thrills and frills. Plus, my last two cancer treatments are next week, and I can't wait to get them over with. I can't start the healing process until the treatments are complete... so lets get to it!
Today was okay. I woke-up choking on mucus... to the point I began throwing-up. And, because I hadn't eaten, the only thing that came up was bile. The good thing is, because my throat already hurts... the bile doesn't leave me with that burning sensation. The glass is always half full!
Other than the initial hiccup, my day went pretty smoothly. I was very lazy today... spending most my time watching T.V. from my bed or the couch. I've had to hack-up the occasional mucus ball, but other than that... pretty easy stuff. I will say that my swallowing is getting extremely difficult. I made it a point to take more sips of water today than I normally would, but the difficulty went unchanged. I've also developed my first little blister on my burned neck. To help avoid any pain, I am now lathering on the Aquaphor and wearing a tank-top.
I weighed myself today. The scale said I was 213. This is the lightest I've been in a long time. I started this journey weighing 235 pounds, so I'm down 22. The whole weight loss thing is tricky. If I would have started this journey at a healthy weight, then any weight lost would be bad. I was WAY over my recommended weight (40 lbs) when I started this journey. If I were doing anything other than fighting cancer... loosing this weight would be a fantastic accomplishment. The fact is... while fighting cancer, I need to maintain as much weight as I can. I'm not nearly as active as I should be, so some of the weight I am loosing is from muscle mass. While I would like to be 200 lbs... I know it is not in my cards right now. I need to be careful!
So, that's all I have for today. Nothing exciting really happened and there weren't any major medical changes to report. I hope you all continue to have a wonderful weekend. I will continue to dream of being on the trails!
Well, we are one day down with one day left before this weekend is in the books. Normally, I'd want my weekends to drag by nice and slow, but my weekends are not filled with thrills and frills. Plus, my last two cancer treatments are next week, and I can't wait to get them over with. I can't start the healing process until the treatments are complete... so lets get to it!
Today was okay. I woke-up choking on mucus... to the point I began throwing-up. And, because I hadn't eaten, the only thing that came up was bile. The good thing is, because my throat already hurts... the bile doesn't leave me with that burning sensation. The glass is always half full!
Other than the initial hiccup, my day went pretty smoothly. I was very lazy today... spending most my time watching T.V. from my bed or the couch. I've had to hack-up the occasional mucus ball, but other than that... pretty easy stuff. I will say that my swallowing is getting extremely difficult. I made it a point to take more sips of water today than I normally would, but the difficulty went unchanged. I've also developed my first little blister on my burned neck. To help avoid any pain, I am now lathering on the Aquaphor and wearing a tank-top.
I weighed myself today. The scale said I was 213. This is the lightest I've been in a long time. I started this journey weighing 235 pounds, so I'm down 22. The whole weight loss thing is tricky. If I would have started this journey at a healthy weight, then any weight lost would be bad. I was WAY over my recommended weight (40 lbs) when I started this journey. If I were doing anything other than fighting cancer... loosing this weight would be a fantastic accomplishment. The fact is... while fighting cancer, I need to maintain as much weight as I can. I'm not nearly as active as I should be, so some of the weight I am loosing is from muscle mass. While I would like to be 200 lbs... I know it is not in my cards right now. I need to be careful!
So, that's all I have for today. Nothing exciting really happened and there weren't any major medical changes to report. I hope you all continue to have a wonderful weekend. I will continue to dream of being on the trails!
Friday, June 23, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 40
Hello world... welcome to the weekend!
Holly-molly... can you believe it has been 40 days? At times, it felt as though this journey was flying by, and at others... it couldn't have dragged-on any slower.
Today was one of those days where it felt as though time was dragging on. It wasn't a bad day, just a long day. I spent most of the day at home, but I didn't sleep as much today as I usually do, so that may be the reason for feeling the way I do.
I woke-up at a decent time... 7:00, I think. I laid in bed for a couple minutes, but was quickly forced out when I began choking on the night's build-up of mucus. I know its a gross topic that you would rather not read about, but I can't help but to elaborate on how vile this mucusitis is to me. Imagine the look and consistency of four raw oysters. Now, make them super sticky... like overcooked pasta covered in glue. This stuff sticks to everything and seems to have the production rate of rabbits. It can sometime take ten minutes to clear myself of all this vile mucus... only to have a whole new batch choking me out ten minutes later. It's maddening!
Anyways... I got-up and fed. I watched the news for quite awhile. I don;t know why... there was nothing particularly interesting being discussed, but I was glued in my recliner. I forwent my morning nap, and waited until my usual time before getting ready for the day.
Jess and I left at our normal time. We got to the hospital, where Jess dropped me off in front so I wouldn't have to walk through the scorching heat. We were hoping for a quick appointment, but unfortunately, it took awhile before I was called back. By the time I received treatment and text Jess that I was on my way out, she had already given up on waiting and found a parking spot.
I became extremely tired on the way home. I'm pretty sure I was slipping in and out of consciousness as we made out way back home.
Jess hadn't been to work yet, so she would have to turn around and leave again as soon as we made it home.
I went to bed as soon as we made it back to the house. I expected to be out for quite awhile, but instead woke-up after only two hours. It was around 3:30 when I went downstairs. Jess was still at work, so I again found myself sitting in my recliner watching the news. With only having two hours worth of nap time today, I thought I would eventually crash while watching T.V. I got sleepy a few times, but never did fall asleep.
Jess wanted to watch a movie tonight, so I stayed-up to spend some time with her. We watched one of my favorite movies: "Romeo and Juliet" - the 90's version with Claire Danes. It doesn't matter how many times I watch that movie, I always find something new within the Shakespearean language that impresses me.
Well... I'm tired, so I think I will go to bed now. There are no new medical side effects or changes to report. I felt better today than I did yesterday, and hope tomorrow follows suit. Two more treatments!! Only - two - more!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
Holly-molly... can you believe it has been 40 days? At times, it felt as though this journey was flying by, and at others... it couldn't have dragged-on any slower.
Today was one of those days where it felt as though time was dragging on. It wasn't a bad day, just a long day. I spent most of the day at home, but I didn't sleep as much today as I usually do, so that may be the reason for feeling the way I do.
I woke-up at a decent time... 7:00, I think. I laid in bed for a couple minutes, but was quickly forced out when I began choking on the night's build-up of mucus. I know its a gross topic that you would rather not read about, but I can't help but to elaborate on how vile this mucusitis is to me. Imagine the look and consistency of four raw oysters. Now, make them super sticky... like overcooked pasta covered in glue. This stuff sticks to everything and seems to have the production rate of rabbits. It can sometime take ten minutes to clear myself of all this vile mucus... only to have a whole new batch choking me out ten minutes later. It's maddening!
Anyways... I got-up and fed. I watched the news for quite awhile. I don;t know why... there was nothing particularly interesting being discussed, but I was glued in my recliner. I forwent my morning nap, and waited until my usual time before getting ready for the day.
Jess and I left at our normal time. We got to the hospital, where Jess dropped me off in front so I wouldn't have to walk through the scorching heat. We were hoping for a quick appointment, but unfortunately, it took awhile before I was called back. By the time I received treatment and text Jess that I was on my way out, she had already given up on waiting and found a parking spot.
I became extremely tired on the way home. I'm pretty sure I was slipping in and out of consciousness as we made out way back home.
Jess hadn't been to work yet, so she would have to turn around and leave again as soon as we made it home.
I went to bed as soon as we made it back to the house. I expected to be out for quite awhile, but instead woke-up after only two hours. It was around 3:30 when I went downstairs. Jess was still at work, so I again found myself sitting in my recliner watching the news. With only having two hours worth of nap time today, I thought I would eventually crash while watching T.V. I got sleepy a few times, but never did fall asleep.
Jess wanted to watch a movie tonight, so I stayed-up to spend some time with her. We watched one of my favorite movies: "Romeo and Juliet" - the 90's version with Claire Danes. It doesn't matter how many times I watch that movie, I always find something new within the Shakespearean language that impresses me.
Well... I'm tired, so I think I will go to bed now. There are no new medical side effects or changes to report. I felt better today than I did yesterday, and hope tomorrow follows suit. Two more treatments!! Only - two - more!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
Thursday, June 22, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 39
Greetings, and welcome back to my blog.
I'm not feeling great, which is about par for Thursdays. So, I am going to make this quick...
I woke-up really late this morning. I didn't remove myself from my bed until 8:30, and that was only because I was forced to do so. The mucus in my throat has gotten so thick that when I move from a prone position to a sitting or standing position, my airway is almost immediately obstructed, requiring me to make a beeline for the sink. So, I spent a good five minutes trying to clear my throat of the vile I have learned to despise.
I must have knocked something loose because I had the sudden urge to make a bowel movement. So... I hadn't gone number two in four days. I was finally able to go last-night just before bed, so this must be round two. Between the two poop sessions, I must have lost at least ten pounds. In fact, Fitbit immediately e-mailed me to congratulate me on my accomplishment. I kid you not! I have a Fitbit Aria, which is a special scale that links to my Fitbit via WiFi. Every time I weigh myself, the scale sends my current weight to my Fitbit account. Well... when I first bought the scale, I had set a weight loss goal for myself. It so happens that between last night and this morning, I had lost enough weight to finally meet my goal... it only took three years! I wouldn't normally get this in-depth about my bowel movements, but I thought the instant e-mail from Fitbit was funny and worth sharing.
My morning was all kinds of a wreck. I really just wanted to go back to bed, but I had a radiation appointment. I finally got myself together. Showering was slightly painful for the first time - the skin burns are getting pretty bad. I was able to get in a pouch of LH before Jess made it home, but I knew I was in trouble because I was now behind a feeding.
My appointment went well. I was called back for my zapping shortly after arriving. As soon as I was done, I was escorted into an exam room for my weekly doctor's visit. My radiation oncologist came in and gave me a quick check-up. As usual, the conversation between us was exhilarating. He informed me that I may have a slight case of thrush, which is expected towards the later part of treatment. Thrush is a fungal infection that occurs on the inside of the mouth. I can't feel anything different, so I'm not overly concerned. I was given ten days worth of antibiotics that are supposed to knock it out quick, so I have nothing to worry about.
I had one thing on my mind when we got home... sleep! I quickly took-in a bag of LH and headed upstairs for my afternoon nap. I woke-up around 5:00, but had no desire to get out of bed. I was eventually forced out the first time because I was choking on more mucus. I returned to bed, but Jess later motivated me to get up.
I've been pretty miserable all evening. I've been battling this mucus while trying to find it within myself to feed again. I really have no desire to do so, but I know I need to.
I still haven't fed, so I suppose I should go do that now. This blog already exceeded my intentions, so I'm pleased to leave you here.
Have an excellent Friday! I only have three more treatments... what do I have to complain about?
I'm not feeling great, which is about par for Thursdays. So, I am going to make this quick...
I woke-up really late this morning. I didn't remove myself from my bed until 8:30, and that was only because I was forced to do so. The mucus in my throat has gotten so thick that when I move from a prone position to a sitting or standing position, my airway is almost immediately obstructed, requiring me to make a beeline for the sink. So, I spent a good five minutes trying to clear my throat of the vile I have learned to despise.
I must have knocked something loose because I had the sudden urge to make a bowel movement. So... I hadn't gone number two in four days. I was finally able to go last-night just before bed, so this must be round two. Between the two poop sessions, I must have lost at least ten pounds. In fact, Fitbit immediately e-mailed me to congratulate me on my accomplishment. I kid you not! I have a Fitbit Aria, which is a special scale that links to my Fitbit via WiFi. Every time I weigh myself, the scale sends my current weight to my Fitbit account. Well... when I first bought the scale, I had set a weight loss goal for myself. It so happens that between last night and this morning, I had lost enough weight to finally meet my goal... it only took three years! I wouldn't normally get this in-depth about my bowel movements, but I thought the instant e-mail from Fitbit was funny and worth sharing.
My morning was all kinds of a wreck. I really just wanted to go back to bed, but I had a radiation appointment. I finally got myself together. Showering was slightly painful for the first time - the skin burns are getting pretty bad. I was able to get in a pouch of LH before Jess made it home, but I knew I was in trouble because I was now behind a feeding.
My appointment went well. I was called back for my zapping shortly after arriving. As soon as I was done, I was escorted into an exam room for my weekly doctor's visit. My radiation oncologist came in and gave me a quick check-up. As usual, the conversation between us was exhilarating. He informed me that I may have a slight case of thrush, which is expected towards the later part of treatment. Thrush is a fungal infection that occurs on the inside of the mouth. I can't feel anything different, so I'm not overly concerned. I was given ten days worth of antibiotics that are supposed to knock it out quick, so I have nothing to worry about.
I had one thing on my mind when we got home... sleep! I quickly took-in a bag of LH and headed upstairs for my afternoon nap. I woke-up around 5:00, but had no desire to get out of bed. I was eventually forced out the first time because I was choking on more mucus. I returned to bed, but Jess later motivated me to get up.
I've been pretty miserable all evening. I've been battling this mucus while trying to find it within myself to feed again. I really have no desire to do so, but I know I need to.
I still haven't fed, so I suppose I should go do that now. This blog already exceeded my intentions, so I'm pleased to leave you here.
Have an excellent Friday! I only have three more treatments... what do I have to complain about?
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 38
Happy Hump Day!
Today was another okay day. This morning went as expected... I crawled out of bed around 6:00 and got breakfast prepared. I enjoyed a nice bag of Liquid Hope while catching-up on some news. My morning medication began settling-in, which means I was re-entering sleepy time. By 8:00, I was back in bed for round two.
I woke-up at 9:40 to get ready for my day. Everything was going well... I had some tight, sore skin around my neck, but nothing a little Aquaphor couldn't fix. Aside from my initial morning hacking of mucus, I felt decently clear. My throat was sore and swallowing is still burdensome, but I'm managing.
I normally feed again before my appointment, but I decided against feeding again because I haven't had a bowel movement for a couple days - I have no doubt the new pain medications are to blame. Instead, I got some paperwork together I needed for both college and work.
Jess drove me to my appointment at our normal time. The hospital must have been super busy today because there was no parking anywhere. Jess had dropped me off in the front while she made an attempt at the dreaded parking garage. The garage was so full that she text me to let me know she was going to find some lunch while I got zapped.
I had to wait about 20 minutes before being called back, but that was okay... it gave Jess a chance to eat. My treatment went well. All I could think about while laying still was how grateful I was that all I had left was four treatments. Can you believe it? I'm almost done! The thought of being so close had me on Cloud Nine! If there were any side-effects from today's treatment to be felt, they were being completely ignored.
After my appointment, Jess and I headed to base. I needed to go into work to complete some important paperwork. If everything works out in my favor, the Air Force will hold on to me and I will compete again for promotion this year. With that, there is some very important paperwork I need to have filled-in and available. So, Jess dropped me off at the fire department so I could get some work done. It was nice being at work. Many of the guys stopped by to check-up on me and wish me a speedy recovery. It made me realize how badly I missed being at work. Soon... I'll be back soon.
I was exhausted by the time Jess and I got home. I had already skipped a meal, so I couldn't just go lay down. I had to quickly take-in a quick bag Liquid Hope before heading upstairs for a much needed siesta.
I think I laid down at 3:00. Jess had to come wake me up at 6:00. I was laying there trying to regain my bearings when I realized I was about to choke on mucus. I ran to the bathroom and began my typical post wake-up hack-a-thon.
My mom called as I was heading downstairs. She had my daughter Jacee and her husband Fred with her. We talked over Face Time for about fifteen minutes before I handed the phone off to Jess. It was nice to get to see and talk to them. I'm very thankful my mom is getting to spend some time with Jacee this summer. I know she doesn't get to see my kids very often, so this is a treat for everyone. I do miss Jacee and look forward to having her home again. Her comedic personality is definitely missed around here.
Since my nap, my mucus build-up has been pretty bad. I've had to make my way to a sink on numerous occasions tonight. I was able to get in another bag of food, but as the night rolls on, I'm feeling more and more uneasy. Maybe I just need some more sleep. I may have pushed myself a little too much today. But, hey! That's what we do on Wednesdays... we try to do something exceptional.
Well, I'm heading to bed. I hope everyone fared well today. If not, hang in there. We only have two more days until our next weekend.
Today was another okay day. This morning went as expected... I crawled out of bed around 6:00 and got breakfast prepared. I enjoyed a nice bag of Liquid Hope while catching-up on some news. My morning medication began settling-in, which means I was re-entering sleepy time. By 8:00, I was back in bed for round two.
I woke-up at 9:40 to get ready for my day. Everything was going well... I had some tight, sore skin around my neck, but nothing a little Aquaphor couldn't fix. Aside from my initial morning hacking of mucus, I felt decently clear. My throat was sore and swallowing is still burdensome, but I'm managing.
I normally feed again before my appointment, but I decided against feeding again because I haven't had a bowel movement for a couple days - I have no doubt the new pain medications are to blame. Instead, I got some paperwork together I needed for both college and work.
Jess drove me to my appointment at our normal time. The hospital must have been super busy today because there was no parking anywhere. Jess had dropped me off in the front while she made an attempt at the dreaded parking garage. The garage was so full that she text me to let me know she was going to find some lunch while I got zapped.
I had to wait about 20 minutes before being called back, but that was okay... it gave Jess a chance to eat. My treatment went well. All I could think about while laying still was how grateful I was that all I had left was four treatments. Can you believe it? I'm almost done! The thought of being so close had me on Cloud Nine! If there were any side-effects from today's treatment to be felt, they were being completely ignored.
After my appointment, Jess and I headed to base. I needed to go into work to complete some important paperwork. If everything works out in my favor, the Air Force will hold on to me and I will compete again for promotion this year. With that, there is some very important paperwork I need to have filled-in and available. So, Jess dropped me off at the fire department so I could get some work done. It was nice being at work. Many of the guys stopped by to check-up on me and wish me a speedy recovery. It made me realize how badly I missed being at work. Soon... I'll be back soon.
I was exhausted by the time Jess and I got home. I had already skipped a meal, so I couldn't just go lay down. I had to quickly take-in a quick bag Liquid Hope before heading upstairs for a much needed siesta.
I think I laid down at 3:00. Jess had to come wake me up at 6:00. I was laying there trying to regain my bearings when I realized I was about to choke on mucus. I ran to the bathroom and began my typical post wake-up hack-a-thon.
My mom called as I was heading downstairs. She had my daughter Jacee and her husband Fred with her. We talked over Face Time for about fifteen minutes before I handed the phone off to Jess. It was nice to get to see and talk to them. I'm very thankful my mom is getting to spend some time with Jacee this summer. I know she doesn't get to see my kids very often, so this is a treat for everyone. I do miss Jacee and look forward to having her home again. Her comedic personality is definitely missed around here.
Since my nap, my mucus build-up has been pretty bad. I've had to make my way to a sink on numerous occasions tonight. I was able to get in another bag of food, but as the night rolls on, I'm feeling more and more uneasy. Maybe I just need some more sleep. I may have pushed myself a little too much today. But, hey! That's what we do on Wednesdays... we try to do something exceptional.
Well, I'm heading to bed. I hope everyone fared well today. If not, hang in there. We only have two more days until our next weekend.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 37
Good evening fellow warriors! I hope today's blog finds you well.
Today has been pretty decent. Nothing exciting really happened... the normal routine really. I woke-up earlier than normal (5:00), but I think that is par for me on days following chemo. The steroids mixed in the chemo really give me a boost of energy. When I woke-up, I felt a lot better than I had over the past couple days. I know it is danger to my swallowing, but I really think limiting the amount of water I drink is helping to maintain a dry, mucus free mouth. To make-up for not drinking water, I am doing the dry-swallow exercises the speech therapist taught me. I have also increased the amount of water I pump in through my PEG. The only draw back to this plan is that it has given me some radical hiccups. But, if I had to choose one or the other... I'll take the hiccups.
Since I woke-up nice and early, I was able to feed earlier than normal, which was helpful since my radiation appointments were moved up. It made the second feeding I get in before my appointments a lot easier to take-in.
My appointment went well. We had to wait awhile, but once I was called back, everything went quick. The treatment itself was painless and I didn't experience anything weird. In fact, I forgot to mention that my burns didn't feel near as... burned today. This could be because I am off the hydrocodone and now on liquid form oxycodone. Now that I think about it... I'm almost positive that is why the burns hurt less.
By the time we got home, I was quite tired. I went upstairs for a nap while Jess went to work. She decided to swap her office hours to the afternoon since my radiation appointment was moved to an earlier time. I'm just happy that she can go back to her normal work schedule starting next Wednesday.
This evening went well. I've been able to get one feeding in, and hope to get a second in after I finish this blog. I watched some T.V. and surfed the net for a bit. Other than that... it hasn't been all that exciting.
Oh! I did get four cases of Liquid Hope delivered to the house today. That should last me a good while... if not nearly to the end of this ordeal. If not, I get more... so no worries. No doubt the work of many prayers. Thank you!
My fundraiser got a huge boost of support yesterday. A big thank you to all of you for spreading the word. My fundraiser has been shared one hundred sixty times. I owe its success to you!
If you haven't checked it out yet, or you want to share with your friends and family check-out the link below:
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
Have a good evening, and remember to do something exception on Wednesday. HUMP DAY!
Today has been pretty decent. Nothing exciting really happened... the normal routine really. I woke-up earlier than normal (5:00), but I think that is par for me on days following chemo. The steroids mixed in the chemo really give me a boost of energy. When I woke-up, I felt a lot better than I had over the past couple days. I know it is danger to my swallowing, but I really think limiting the amount of water I drink is helping to maintain a dry, mucus free mouth. To make-up for not drinking water, I am doing the dry-swallow exercises the speech therapist taught me. I have also increased the amount of water I pump in through my PEG. The only draw back to this plan is that it has given me some radical hiccups. But, if I had to choose one or the other... I'll take the hiccups.
Since I woke-up nice and early, I was able to feed earlier than normal, which was helpful since my radiation appointments were moved up. It made the second feeding I get in before my appointments a lot easier to take-in.
My appointment went well. We had to wait awhile, but once I was called back, everything went quick. The treatment itself was painless and I didn't experience anything weird. In fact, I forgot to mention that my burns didn't feel near as... burned today. This could be because I am off the hydrocodone and now on liquid form oxycodone. Now that I think about it... I'm almost positive that is why the burns hurt less.
By the time we got home, I was quite tired. I went upstairs for a nap while Jess went to work. She decided to swap her office hours to the afternoon since my radiation appointment was moved to an earlier time. I'm just happy that she can go back to her normal work schedule starting next Wednesday.
This evening went well. I've been able to get one feeding in, and hope to get a second in after I finish this blog. I watched some T.V. and surfed the net for a bit. Other than that... it hasn't been all that exciting.
Oh! I did get four cases of Liquid Hope delivered to the house today. That should last me a good while... if not nearly to the end of this ordeal. If not, I get more... so no worries. No doubt the work of many prayers. Thank you!
My fundraiser got a huge boost of support yesterday. A big thank you to all of you for spreading the word. My fundraiser has been shared one hundred sixty times. I owe its success to you!
If you haven't checked it out yet, or you want to share with your friends and family check-out the link below:
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
Have a good evening, and remember to do something exception on Wednesday. HUMP DAY!
Monday, June 19, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 36
Happy Monday!
I am in a much better mood today than I was yesterday. Today was my LAST chemo session... YAY!
Okay... lets slow down for a minute. I woke-up this morning still hacking up large globs of mucus. As I was doing so, I could sense a burning sensation radiating from both sides of my neck. Great! I now have burns nearly extending nearly all the way around my neck. Time to moisturize! Back to the mucus for a second... I noticed that the mucus became a lot more difficult to manage after having sipped some water. So, I decided I would try going without water through my mouth and only through my PEG. It helped! I cut down to only my medicated mouth rinse and swallowed water only to take down medications. My mucus production decreased a lot. Sure, I had to worry about dehydration, but as long as I continue to hydrate through my PEG, I should be okay. Trust me... having a slightly drier mouth is well worth not choking on mucus all day.
So, the burns are getting worse. I imagine by the end of the week, my neck will begin to blister and peel. That is the typical end stage for the skin burning. From what I hear, it is only painful if the skin is being irritated. As long as I keep it moisturized and protected from shirt rubs, I should be good-to-go. My neck is also very swollen right now. The burning has caused a lot of liquid to build-up, which is to be expected. I will hold off lymphedema treatments until my skin is safe to touch.
Today was another long day. I had both radiation and chemo. My radiation appointments have been moved up to 11:40 instead of 12:20, so Jess and I had to adjust our schedules. It really threw off my feeding schedule. I lost forty minutes between my morning feedings. I didn't have my typical hunger feeling when I sat down to syringe my second feeding. Oh well... radiation is almost over.
My radiation appointment went well. We didn't have to wait long before I was called back. The nurses could see I had taken a turn for the worse over the weekend. They made me feel a little better by laying on the sympathy; their genuine sense of caring help lift my spirits. You know what else lifted my spirits? The fact I only have six more radiation treatments scheduled!
Chemotherapy went extremely well today... other than having a couple veins blown by an over-confident nurse. To be honest... it was slightly bittersweet. My medical oncologist and her team have been very helpful throughout this entire ordeal. It's kinda sad knowing that our time together is coming to an end. A good end, but and end regardless.
I was okayed for my final treatment. For the first time since this starting chemo, my blood showed signs of being impacted by the chemo poison. My white blood cell count was still high, which is a miracle according to my doctor. But, my platelets have decreased a bit. Normally, they would be around 150,000. Mine were at 140,000ish. Oncologists can continue giving chemo at 70,000 and its not uncommon to see people tank lower than 50,000. So, I have nothing to worry about. I'm still a freak of nature; immune to chemo.
The pod I was assigned to was a full house. I took the last of four treatment chairs. This was unusual considering I am usually by myself. The nurse assigned to my pod was very busy with the other patients in the room. Two of the patients were on oxygen. Each of them had issues keeping their oxygen saturation within acceptable levels. The lady had to be taken to the Emergency Room, so while I was receiving my infusion, I got to watch the medics from Tucson Fire go to work. My nurse was so overwhelmed that she got over-confident when trying to establish an IV. She saw big veins... ignoring my warning that although big, they were full of valves. She blew two of my veins before asking another nurse to step-in. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but when you're receiving chemo, you bruise a lot easier. Not only that, the bruises are often times painful to the touch. I've had some bruises take as long as three weeks to heal.
Crazy! But, you know what? This was my last chemo infusion for this treatment cycle. I will receive some small does chemo infusions every three months for a year, but that stuff was rookie stuff compared to the Cisplatin. Those additional infusions are required as part of the clinical trial I agreed too.
Compared to yesterday, today was leaps and bounds better. A lot of it has to do with the support I receive from you... the readers. Many of you reached out to me, and believe me... it helps my mental wellness greatly. So, thank you. From the bottom of my heart... thank you! There is a reason why the Air Force included social wellness as one of the major pillars for resiliency. Have a good cheer squad is critical when dealing with one of life's greatest adversities.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but for now... I will bask in today's wins!
I am in a much better mood today than I was yesterday. Today was my LAST chemo session... YAY!
Okay... lets slow down for a minute. I woke-up this morning still hacking up large globs of mucus. As I was doing so, I could sense a burning sensation radiating from both sides of my neck. Great! I now have burns nearly extending nearly all the way around my neck. Time to moisturize! Back to the mucus for a second... I noticed that the mucus became a lot more difficult to manage after having sipped some water. So, I decided I would try going without water through my mouth and only through my PEG. It helped! I cut down to only my medicated mouth rinse and swallowed water only to take down medications. My mucus production decreased a lot. Sure, I had to worry about dehydration, but as long as I continue to hydrate through my PEG, I should be okay. Trust me... having a slightly drier mouth is well worth not choking on mucus all day.
So, the burns are getting worse. I imagine by the end of the week, my neck will begin to blister and peel. That is the typical end stage for the skin burning. From what I hear, it is only painful if the skin is being irritated. As long as I keep it moisturized and protected from shirt rubs, I should be good-to-go. My neck is also very swollen right now. The burning has caused a lot of liquid to build-up, which is to be expected. I will hold off lymphedema treatments until my skin is safe to touch.
The dark area covering my lower neck on the left side is the most severe.
Today was another long day. I had both radiation and chemo. My radiation appointments have been moved up to 11:40 instead of 12:20, so Jess and I had to adjust our schedules. It really threw off my feeding schedule. I lost forty minutes between my morning feedings. I didn't have my typical hunger feeling when I sat down to syringe my second feeding. Oh well... radiation is almost over.
My radiation appointment went well. We didn't have to wait long before I was called back. The nurses could see I had taken a turn for the worse over the weekend. They made me feel a little better by laying on the sympathy; their genuine sense of caring help lift my spirits. You know what else lifted my spirits? The fact I only have six more radiation treatments scheduled!
Chemotherapy went extremely well today... other than having a couple veins blown by an over-confident nurse. To be honest... it was slightly bittersweet. My medical oncologist and her team have been very helpful throughout this entire ordeal. It's kinda sad knowing that our time together is coming to an end. A good end, but and end regardless.
I was okayed for my final treatment. For the first time since this starting chemo, my blood showed signs of being impacted by the chemo poison. My white blood cell count was still high, which is a miracle according to my doctor. But, my platelets have decreased a bit. Normally, they would be around 150,000. Mine were at 140,000ish. Oncologists can continue giving chemo at 70,000 and its not uncommon to see people tank lower than 50,000. So, I have nothing to worry about. I'm still a freak of nature; immune to chemo.
The pod I was assigned to was a full house. I took the last of four treatment chairs. This was unusual considering I am usually by myself. The nurse assigned to my pod was very busy with the other patients in the room. Two of the patients were on oxygen. Each of them had issues keeping their oxygen saturation within acceptable levels. The lady had to be taken to the Emergency Room, so while I was receiving my infusion, I got to watch the medics from Tucson Fire go to work. My nurse was so overwhelmed that she got over-confident when trying to establish an IV. She saw big veins... ignoring my warning that although big, they were full of valves. She blew two of my veins before asking another nurse to step-in. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but when you're receiving chemo, you bruise a lot easier. Not only that, the bruises are often times painful to the touch. I've had some bruises take as long as three weeks to heal.
The bruise on the left portion of my hand is over two weeks old. It is still tender!
Crazy! But, you know what? This was my last chemo infusion for this treatment cycle. I will receive some small does chemo infusions every three months for a year, but that stuff was rookie stuff compared to the Cisplatin. Those additional infusions are required as part of the clinical trial I agreed too.
Compared to yesterday, today was leaps and bounds better. A lot of it has to do with the support I receive from you... the readers. Many of you reached out to me, and believe me... it helps my mental wellness greatly. So, thank you. From the bottom of my heart... thank you! There is a reason why the Air Force included social wellness as one of the major pillars for resiliency. Have a good cheer squad is critical when dealing with one of life's greatest adversities.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but for now... I will bask in today's wins!
Sunday, June 18, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 35
Happy Father's Day!
I don't know what to say... cancer has me on my heels. If there is a breaking point at which someone finds themselves at with cancer... today was my day. First, I woke-up to burns on my neck. I thought I was going to get lucky, but that does not seem to be the case. I have burns around my collar bones. My shirt irritates them when I move my head in any direction. Then, the mucus build-up has gotten so bad that at any random moment, I find myself choking on my own secretions. The choking got so bad that I found myself throwing-up in the kitchen sink. Lastly, my moral has been shattered. Jess and I made the decision to send the kids away for the summer so they don't have to see me in this condition. Well, here it is... Father's Day, and I'm without any my children. I really do miss them.
I hate feeling this exposed. I know I'm almost to the end. I know I will survive this. I know...
For a man with little patience... this is torture. The fight against cancer is torture. Nothing about it is quick and painless. Instead you feel like the treatment itself is slowly killing you. It's not like an accident, where you begin your path of recovery getting better each and every day. No, cancer requires you to suffer... a little bit at a time. Everyday is slightly worst than the last. THEN... once on your knees begging for mercy... recovery begins. What a horrible joke! This disease is SICK!
I'll try to be more chipper tomorrow. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.
I don't know what to say... cancer has me on my heels. If there is a breaking point at which someone finds themselves at with cancer... today was my day. First, I woke-up to burns on my neck. I thought I was going to get lucky, but that does not seem to be the case. I have burns around my collar bones. My shirt irritates them when I move my head in any direction. Then, the mucus build-up has gotten so bad that at any random moment, I find myself choking on my own secretions. The choking got so bad that I found myself throwing-up in the kitchen sink. Lastly, my moral has been shattered. Jess and I made the decision to send the kids away for the summer so they don't have to see me in this condition. Well, here it is... Father's Day, and I'm without any my children. I really do miss them.
I hate feeling this exposed. I know I'm almost to the end. I know I will survive this. I know...
For a man with little patience... this is torture. The fight against cancer is torture. Nothing about it is quick and painless. Instead you feel like the treatment itself is slowly killing you. It's not like an accident, where you begin your path of recovery getting better each and every day. No, cancer requires you to suffer... a little bit at a time. Everyday is slightly worst than the last. THEN... once on your knees begging for mercy... recovery begins. What a horrible joke! This disease is SICK!
I'll try to be more chipper tomorrow. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.
Saturday, June 17, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 34
Happy Saturday!
Well, here we are again... another relaxing weekend. Today's R&R was greatly appreciated. I was hoping to sleep-in a little, but my stomach reminded me that it needed to be fed. Its funny how different liquid diets react to your body compared to solid diets. I'm still getting a ton of calories with each meal, but my body is able to process the food much quicker. And, because my body processes the food fast, I get hungry at a much higher rate.
Health wise, I am about the same today as I was yesterday. The mucus remains my toughest opponent, but the sore one the side of my tongue is making-up ground quickly. I am to the point now where I am actively trying not to move my tongue, even when talking. Swallowing is becoming more difficult, but I think a lot of that is because I've stopped trying. I really need to be careful not to neglect swallowing, but it is easy to do when you have a PEG tube. I am very happy I received the PEG. Some cancer patients chose not to get a PEG, or cannot get a PEG due to other medical issues. A week ago, I might have said I could do without it. Today is a whole different story.
I think I told you all that Jess drove me to REI so I could look around and drool over all the fancy backpacking equipment. Well, on that visit, I joined the REI membership program, which cost me twenty dollars. With that membership, I forever get a 20% discount, as well as, an invitation to their quarterly garage sales. These garage sales are full of "lightly" used merchandise that had been returned for whatever reason. The merchandise is then resold at SUPER low prices. Well, today was one of those garage sales. I was in no condition to go, but Jess offered to stop by to check it out. I gave her my REI wish-list in hopes she might find some gear at a killer price. She didn't find any camping gear, but she did find the trail runners I wanted. They were in my size, but not the exact color I wanted. Hey... they were 50% off, so I am not complaining!
Well... I think I'll end it here for today. I imagine tomorrow will be another day lounging around the house. I'm always monitoring all those social media sites, so don't be a stranger!
Well, here we are again... another relaxing weekend. Today's R&R was greatly appreciated. I was hoping to sleep-in a little, but my stomach reminded me that it needed to be fed. Its funny how different liquid diets react to your body compared to solid diets. I'm still getting a ton of calories with each meal, but my body is able to process the food much quicker. And, because my body processes the food fast, I get hungry at a much higher rate.
Health wise, I am about the same today as I was yesterday. The mucus remains my toughest opponent, but the sore one the side of my tongue is making-up ground quickly. I am to the point now where I am actively trying not to move my tongue, even when talking. Swallowing is becoming more difficult, but I think a lot of that is because I've stopped trying. I really need to be careful not to neglect swallowing, but it is easy to do when you have a PEG tube. I am very happy I received the PEG. Some cancer patients chose not to get a PEG, or cannot get a PEG due to other medical issues. A week ago, I might have said I could do without it. Today is a whole different story.
I think I told you all that Jess drove me to REI so I could look around and drool over all the fancy backpacking equipment. Well, on that visit, I joined the REI membership program, which cost me twenty dollars. With that membership, I forever get a 20% discount, as well as, an invitation to their quarterly garage sales. These garage sales are full of "lightly" used merchandise that had been returned for whatever reason. The merchandise is then resold at SUPER low prices. Well, today was one of those garage sales. I was in no condition to go, but Jess offered to stop by to check it out. I gave her my REI wish-list in hopes she might find some gear at a killer price. She didn't find any camping gear, but she did find the trail runners I wanted. They were in my size, but not the exact color I wanted. Hey... they were 50% off, so I am not complaining!
Well... I think I'll end it here for today. I imagine tomorrow will be another day lounging around the house. I'm always monitoring all those social media sites, so don't be a stranger!
Friday, June 16, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 33
Hello. Welcome back.
My journey continues to increase in difficulty with each passing day. Today was worst than yesterday, and I can only imagine tomorrow will be slightly worst than today.
I woke-up to new pains in my mouth. I've had some discomfort, but nothing really "hurt" until now. I have a sore on the side of my tongue that cannot be ignored unless I am medicated. The mucus has been really bad today - so bad that the mucus is making it hard for me to communicate. I feel bad because I'm sure Jess feels I am ignoring her, but the fact is... I can't stand fighting through the mucus in the bad of my throat. I've been gargling with my rinses, but they only provide temporary relief. When I do attempt to spit-up the mucus, it hangs from me, refusing to let-go, like a toddler at his/her first time at daycare. To top everything off... my ability to swallow is being threatened by the pain that associates itself with the process. Twice today I choked on my pills.
If you look closely, you will see that my gums are turning white. The tissue is extremely raw and rubs off very easily. This makes brushing my teeth extremely difficult.
Today was standard. I only had radiation today, so I spent most of the day at home. I took both a morning and afternoon nap. I tried to drink a shake for lunch, but could only get through a third of it. Dinner is being dumped into my belly as I write this, making my third whole meal of the day. I'll need to make-up so calories tomorrow.
I expect many of my future posts will be short like this one. I just don't have it in me to write my typical dissertation. Speaking of long papers... did you know? Since starting this blog, I have authored 100 pages worth of content. That is 100 pages on Microsoft Word, single-spaced, Times New Roman, 12 point font. I have a running copy I am keeping as a back-up... just in case the website decides one day it wants to dump everything. I never would have imagined this blog would become so extensive. I hope this cancer doesn't hang around for another 100 pages.
Have a wonderful evening. We made it through another week, and deserve a pat on the back. Have an outstanding weekend. I will keep you up-to-date... no matter how hard this gets.
If you have a chance... check out my GoFundMe.
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
My journey continues to increase in difficulty with each passing day. Today was worst than yesterday, and I can only imagine tomorrow will be slightly worst than today.
I woke-up to new pains in my mouth. I've had some discomfort, but nothing really "hurt" until now. I have a sore on the side of my tongue that cannot be ignored unless I am medicated. The mucus has been really bad today - so bad that the mucus is making it hard for me to communicate. I feel bad because I'm sure Jess feels I am ignoring her, but the fact is... I can't stand fighting through the mucus in the bad of my throat. I've been gargling with my rinses, but they only provide temporary relief. When I do attempt to spit-up the mucus, it hangs from me, refusing to let-go, like a toddler at his/her first time at daycare. To top everything off... my ability to swallow is being threatened by the pain that associates itself with the process. Twice today I choked on my pills.
Today was standard. I only had radiation today, so I spent most of the day at home. I took both a morning and afternoon nap. I tried to drink a shake for lunch, but could only get through a third of it. Dinner is being dumped into my belly as I write this, making my third whole meal of the day. I'll need to make-up so calories tomorrow.
I expect many of my future posts will be short like this one. I just don't have it in me to write my typical dissertation. Speaking of long papers... did you know? Since starting this blog, I have authored 100 pages worth of content. That is 100 pages on Microsoft Word, single-spaced, Times New Roman, 12 point font. I have a running copy I am keeping as a back-up... just in case the website decides one day it wants to dump everything. I never would have imagined this blog would become so extensive. I hope this cancer doesn't hang around for another 100 pages.
Have a wonderful evening. We made it through another week, and deserve a pat on the back. Have an outstanding weekend. I will keep you up-to-date... no matter how hard this gets.
If you have a chance... check out my GoFundMe.
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
Thursday, June 15, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 32
Good evening everyone.
I need to make this blog quick. I'm super annoyed right now, and really just want to go back to sleep.
I had radiation today - number 21 of 30 (almost there). I got to see the doc today, which went down as it usually does... I sit in a waiting room for 20 minutes... he comes in a asks me how I'm doing... he asks if I need any medication refills... and leaves. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I feel an attempt of human interaction worth my twenty minutes of waiting should be a minimum.
I also had an appointment with a speech therapist. The appointment was not geared towards speech, it was more a swallow study and educational opportunity. My doctors want to make sure I do not put myself in a position where I lose the ability to swallow. From what the therapist told me... radiation can cause fibrosis in the neck muscles that aid in swallowing. We want me to maintain my swallowing function so that I can come off this feeding tube as soon as possible. So, she gave me a couple exercises to complete everyday. A couple of them deal with different ways to swallow, while the other four or five are tongue exercises.
I've been battling this mucositis all day. I can not seem to keep my mouth and throat clear of this foul crap. It seems to build-up inside me faster than I can get rid of it. The only way I can get rid of it is by gargling with saltwater and then nearly choke to death as I hack and cough it up into the sink. The mucus itself is mostly soft right now, but I do get a harder secretion from time to time. Even though soft, the mucus is very sticky, which means I have stings of nasty mucus hanging from my face as I'm trying to clear my airway. It latches to my tongue like a spider monkey on it's mother's back.
Aside from that, I executed my day as I have for weeks: wake-up, feed, sleep, wake-up, shower, feed, go to appointment, feed, sleep, wake-up, feed, watch some television, and blog.
Thursdays always seem to be my worst days. Looking back on the last 32 days, I'm always whining on Thursdays. Perhaps I should just skip them...
The good news is... we're almost to the end. It may take awhile to hit recovery, but knowing the radiation and chemo is behind me will be a huge sense of relief.
I hope you all are doing well! Goodnight.
I need to make this blog quick. I'm super annoyed right now, and really just want to go back to sleep.
I had radiation today - number 21 of 30 (almost there). I got to see the doc today, which went down as it usually does... I sit in a waiting room for 20 minutes... he comes in a asks me how I'm doing... he asks if I need any medication refills... and leaves. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I feel an attempt of human interaction worth my twenty minutes of waiting should be a minimum.
I also had an appointment with a speech therapist. The appointment was not geared towards speech, it was more a swallow study and educational opportunity. My doctors want to make sure I do not put myself in a position where I lose the ability to swallow. From what the therapist told me... radiation can cause fibrosis in the neck muscles that aid in swallowing. We want me to maintain my swallowing function so that I can come off this feeding tube as soon as possible. So, she gave me a couple exercises to complete everyday. A couple of them deal with different ways to swallow, while the other four or five are tongue exercises.
I've been battling this mucositis all day. I can not seem to keep my mouth and throat clear of this foul crap. It seems to build-up inside me faster than I can get rid of it. The only way I can get rid of it is by gargling with saltwater and then nearly choke to death as I hack and cough it up into the sink. The mucus itself is mostly soft right now, but I do get a harder secretion from time to time. Even though soft, the mucus is very sticky, which means I have stings of nasty mucus hanging from my face as I'm trying to clear my airway. It latches to my tongue like a spider monkey on it's mother's back.
Aside from that, I executed my day as I have for weeks: wake-up, feed, sleep, wake-up, shower, feed, go to appointment, feed, sleep, wake-up, feed, watch some television, and blog.
Thursdays always seem to be my worst days. Looking back on the last 32 days, I'm always whining on Thursdays. Perhaps I should just skip them...
The good news is... we're almost to the end. It may take awhile to hit recovery, but knowing the radiation and chemo is behind me will be a huge sense of relief.
I hope you all are doing well! Goodnight.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 31
Welcome back, and Happy Hump-day! I hope you all went out there and did something amazing.
Today wasn't all that amazing for me - it was uneventful and boring. I woke-up at 6:00 to feed, and had made my way back to bed around 8:00. I stayed up just long enough to watch the news repeat today's main headline about three times. Luckily, the story hadn't changed too much, so I feel confident I know the gist. I'm making light of the news, but I am truly happy no one other than the gunman was killed in today's shoot-out.
As usual, my alarm woke me up at 10:00 to get ready for my radiation appointment. By 10:30, I was downstairs tube feeding. You see... its starting to sound like groundhogs day. Jess made it home at 11:00 and we were out the door by 11:15.
My radiation appointment went well. There were a lot of people in the waiting room when we got there, which made me nervous. I forgot the doctors see new patients on Wednesdays, which explained the full waiting room. We had to wait about fifteen minutes before I was called back. The treatment it self went well. I didn't feel any of the tingling or burning I had over the last couple days, so I suppose that is good news.
Jess had no other errands to run, so after my appointment we went straight home. Once home, I messed about on the computer for a little while before getting in another tube feeding. I went upstairs for my afternoon nap around 2:30 and didn't come back downstairs until 4:30.
I was home alone when I awoke from my nap. I was expecting a book in the mail, so I decided to walk down to the mailboxes. I was glad to see the book had arrived. It is a book about the Pacific Crest Trail. The author has hiked the PCT three and half times, and has documented everything one might want to know about the trail: water stops, mail drops, camp sites, etc. I would have to say, receiving this book was the highlight of my day.
I was feeling hungry again around 7:00, so I prepared my fourth and final meal for the day. I had used a syringe for my first three meals, but wasn't up for the mess tonight. I filled a gravity bag with Liquid Hope and water and relaxed on the couch for some T.V. time with Jess.
Now, I am here... blogging with all of you.
I'm feeling okay today. I feel better than I would have thought. The side effects of the radiation get a little worse everyday, but they are not as unpleasant as I would have thought. The only pain I have in inside my mouth and inside my throat, but both can be avoided by simply not talking and not swallowing. The worst side effect has to be the mucus build-up, but I plan to ask my radiation oncologist about a new medicine I read about. It is supposed to greatly reduce mucositis, which it the clinical name for the mucus build-up. The mucus has not gotten to the point where it interferes with my breathing, but it is super annoying.
I'd like to field any questions you might have in my next blog. If there is anything about my journey or treatment you are curious about, please leave a question on either Facebook or in the comments below and I will answer your questions in tomorrow's blog. Please let me know if you don't want your name used. There are no silly questions, and you should know by now I am an open book.
Cheers, and goodnight!
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 30 (Half Way There)
Welcome back world. I hope you had a glorious Tuesday! My Tuesday was okay.
I woke-up feeling okay. My throat way dryer than the Sahara Desert in mid-summer, but despite that, I felt pretty decent. I got-up around 6:00 and was blessed to sit down with my wife to enjoy our breakfast together. I tube fed a delicious bag of Liquid Hope, while she had eggs and toast. I also ate some honey, which is meant to sooth my throat, but it makes me gag.
Speaking of swallowing... it is getting much more difficult to swallow now. I can now see how so many people dependent on their feeding tubes loose the ability to swallow. I would like to avoid this, but to be honest... its very easy to ignore the need to swallow when there are alternative methods to nourish the body.
Jess left for work almost immediately after breakfast. I was feeling the effects of my morning medications mixed in with a full belly from breakfast. This caused me to get tired again. So, at 8:00 I retreated to my bed, ready for a morning nap.
I woke-up at 10:00 to get ready for my one and only appointment - radiation. I turned on some tunes and hoped in the shower. For the first time, I could sense some heat coming from my neck and the hot water hit me. It wasn't painful... just noticeable.
I was ready to go by 10:30, which gave me enough time to eat again. So, again I was back at it with the Liquid Hope. I decided to eat via syringe for all my meals today. It is quicker than waiting for the gravity bags to do their thing, and a lot messier.
Jess got home with plenty of time to get ready and eat some lunch. I'm glad she did, because sometimes she gets home late and we're forced to run out the door. This wasn't a problem when I was still an eater because we would stop for lunch, but now... things have changed. I wouldn't mind if she stopped for something to eat. I would stay in the car to avoid the smell of food, which is why she wouldn't feel comfortable stopping; she wouldn't feel right leaving me behind.
My radiation appointment went well. I think the entire staff decided to eat lunch just before my appointment time, so we had to wait for a little bit. It turned out to be okay since we got to talk to some new friends. The wife is the patient. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Today was her second to last treatment. Tomorrow, Jess and I will have to say good-bye... as we have with other patients we've met. It really is a bittersweet sorrow.
Today's treatment marks number 19 for me. I have 11 radiation treatments left, with only one more chemo infusion. The end is in sight! The end... it cannot come soon enough!
I had the afternoon to myself. Jess took Oscar to the pool and then to a military recruiter to inquire about future options. I spent a majority of my alone time sleeping. The first two days following chemo are always hard on the body. I expect I will sleep a lot tomorrow as well. But, don't worry... I went out for a walk with the dogs this evening. The temp has been in the triple-digits, so walking in the daytime is out of the question. I have enough of a problem trying to stay hydrated.
I ate again around 4:00, and then again around 7:30. I successfully got four bags of Liquid Hope in me today without having any the gnarly gut circus going on. I think my stomach is getting used to the tube feeding formula. Now... if I could only get my digestive track to fall-in-line.
I spent an hour and a half trying to personalize my blog page, but I'm not computer savvy enough to design something original. So, I'm left with one of the generic one's the website provides. I used to know HTML (somewhat) but that was nearly 20 years ago. If anyone is good at graphic design and wants to help me out, I'd be much obliged.
Tomorrow is hump-day. Do something amazing on hump-day... if only to annoy the people around you that fail to see the good in everyday!
I woke-up feeling okay. My throat way dryer than the Sahara Desert in mid-summer, but despite that, I felt pretty decent. I got-up around 6:00 and was blessed to sit down with my wife to enjoy our breakfast together. I tube fed a delicious bag of Liquid Hope, while she had eggs and toast. I also ate some honey, which is meant to sooth my throat, but it makes me gag.
Speaking of swallowing... it is getting much more difficult to swallow now. I can now see how so many people dependent on their feeding tubes loose the ability to swallow. I would like to avoid this, but to be honest... its very easy to ignore the need to swallow when there are alternative methods to nourish the body.
Jess left for work almost immediately after breakfast. I was feeling the effects of my morning medications mixed in with a full belly from breakfast. This caused me to get tired again. So, at 8:00 I retreated to my bed, ready for a morning nap.
I woke-up at 10:00 to get ready for my one and only appointment - radiation. I turned on some tunes and hoped in the shower. For the first time, I could sense some heat coming from my neck and the hot water hit me. It wasn't painful... just noticeable.
I was ready to go by 10:30, which gave me enough time to eat again. So, again I was back at it with the Liquid Hope. I decided to eat via syringe for all my meals today. It is quicker than waiting for the gravity bags to do their thing, and a lot messier.
Jess got home with plenty of time to get ready and eat some lunch. I'm glad she did, because sometimes she gets home late and we're forced to run out the door. This wasn't a problem when I was still an eater because we would stop for lunch, but now... things have changed. I wouldn't mind if she stopped for something to eat. I would stay in the car to avoid the smell of food, which is why she wouldn't feel comfortable stopping; she wouldn't feel right leaving me behind.
My radiation appointment went well. I think the entire staff decided to eat lunch just before my appointment time, so we had to wait for a little bit. It turned out to be okay since we got to talk to some new friends. The wife is the patient. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Today was her second to last treatment. Tomorrow, Jess and I will have to say good-bye... as we have with other patients we've met. It really is a bittersweet sorrow.
Today's treatment marks number 19 for me. I have 11 radiation treatments left, with only one more chemo infusion. The end is in sight! The end... it cannot come soon enough!
I had the afternoon to myself. Jess took Oscar to the pool and then to a military recruiter to inquire about future options. I spent a majority of my alone time sleeping. The first two days following chemo are always hard on the body. I expect I will sleep a lot tomorrow as well. But, don't worry... I went out for a walk with the dogs this evening. The temp has been in the triple-digits, so walking in the daytime is out of the question. I have enough of a problem trying to stay hydrated.
I ate again around 4:00, and then again around 7:30. I successfully got four bags of Liquid Hope in me today without having any the gnarly gut circus going on. I think my stomach is getting used to the tube feeding formula. Now... if I could only get my digestive track to fall-in-line.
I spent an hour and a half trying to personalize my blog page, but I'm not computer savvy enough to design something original. So, I'm left with one of the generic one's the website provides. I used to know HTML (somewhat) but that was nearly 20 years ago. If anyone is good at graphic design and wants to help me out, I'd be much obliged.
Tomorrow is hump-day. Do something amazing on hump-day... if only to annoy the people around you that fail to see the good in everyday!
Monday, June 12, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 29
Happy Monday! I hope you all started your weeks off by being amazing!
As you may know by now, Mondays are always extremely long because I have both chemo and radiation. But, before I get to my appointments... lets recap where I stand medically:
I woke-up at 4:00 because my mouth sores were killing me. I could have used my Magic Mouthwash to sooth the sores, but my brain became overwhelmed by thoughts... thus ending any chance of going back to sleep. My throat and neck are about the same as they were over the weekend - sore throat and a red neck. Yee-haw! I'm pleased to report I did not have a headache or nausea, but I was experiencing some hunger pains.
Getting up early allowed me to feed early enough to allow a second feeding before we left for my appointments. I was also able to take a good two hour nap, which in hindsight is a blessing considering how long these appointments seemed to be.
I was dreading radiation today. To be honest... I'm about fed-up completely with this whole thing. But, like a good soldier... I marched in there and faced the enemy with a heart full of courage. You know... these appointments would be much worse if it weren't for the outstanding staff at both the Radiation Oncology Clinic and the North Campus Cancer Clinic. To be honest, my cheerful spirit would not exist if it weren't for the genuine care and affection these nurses show towards me each and every time I come in for treatment. It doesn't matter how dumpy I feel when I walk into the clinic... as soon as I make contact with the nurse staff... I suddenly feel much better. Part of it may be the extrovert in me responding to having social contact, but most of it is the positive energy coming from the nurses. Everyday they ask me how I'm doing and offer both encouragement and advice. They know my name, they know my diagnosis, and they know how I respond to the care I am receiving.
The only difference in today is that I had more to report to the nurses since we were coming off a weekend break. The treatment itself went well. Usually I go to sleep, but today I was too engaged in my own thoughts to nod off. I couldn't help but to think how grateful I was that the treatments were, for the most part, bearable. Going into this, I envisioned a horrific experience. Many head and neck cancer survivors report the mask as being a torture device that should not be taken lightly. I've seen entire forum topics dedicated to "surviving the mask." I can definitely see how it would be horrific to some... especially if someone if claustrophobic or has severe skin burns on the neck. I am not afraid of tight spaces and my skin has not burned so badly that the mask causes pain. For this, I am grateful.
My chemo appointment was very long. I had forgotten than Jess and I usually fill the time between radiation and chemo with a lunch date. I convinced her we needed to go straight to the clinic, which resulted in a long wait before getting to see the doctor. To fill some of that time, Jess and Oscar went to the cafe and had lunch, while I walked around looking at art and shopping in the gift store. I bought one of those cancer ribbon magnets for the house. Jess asked if I was going to put the magnet on my truck, which was met with a very quick, "NO!" I like my truck clean - no bumper stickers or magnets. I'm weird like that. Anyways, I told Jess it would be for the refrigerator.
It took close to an hour and a half before I was finally called back to see the doc. It had been a couple weeks since I got to see my primary medical oncologist. She had been on vacation and left me in the care of the physician's assistant. We talked about the tinnitus I was experiencing, which is now constant, but at a very low decibel. In fact, I can only hear the constant ringing when I am in a quiet room with no background noise. I still get the random high pitch rings, but the doc doesn't seem to be overly concerned with it. She said that if I were experiencing hearing loss then it would be a concern. The fact is... all of her previous patients that received Cisplatin reported having tinnitus while receiving chemo, but also reported it going away within three months following treatment. That's good enough for me! So... off I went for my fifth chemo infusion.
Because my appointments are always scheduled late in the day, I am always one of the last people in the treatment ward to receive my chemo infusion. Today, I was the only patient in my little pod. Jess and Oscar joined me to keep me company. We were also blessed to have the company of an old friend. One of the gals that ran the clinical trial stopped-by to catch-up. She still follows my treatment closely since my treatment results are collected for the trial's report. Jess told her about this blog, which prompted me to informed her that she has made appearances within some of the entries. She seemed interested, so I pulled out my phone so I could share with her an example of an entry she was in. The first one that caught my eye was "Deuces." This was the blog entry where I joked about having to give a stool sample. I read a couple parts to her, and she loved it.
We finally got out of the clinic at 6:00. By the time we got home, it was nearly 7:00. On any other day I would have crashed immediately, but today I am hyped-up on the steroids from the chemo. So... I helped Jess do some quick yard work, walked the dogs, and enjoyed a nice dinner with Jess. It is now 9:30 and should be tired, but I'm not. I fear I will be awake for a bit. These steroids are hard to shake, but when they die off... I usually crash hard. I think I will try my extra-strength, painkiller mouthwash tonight. It is a stronger, longer lasting pain reliever than the Magic Mouthwash. And unlike the Magic Mouthwash, it will cause me to be sleepy. The doc says it will be similar to taking Benadryl.
Goodnight everyone. Lets hope for a good Tuesday!
To learn more about my fundraiser, go-to: https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
As you may know by now, Mondays are always extremely long because I have both chemo and radiation. But, before I get to my appointments... lets recap where I stand medically:
I woke-up at 4:00 because my mouth sores were killing me. I could have used my Magic Mouthwash to sooth the sores, but my brain became overwhelmed by thoughts... thus ending any chance of going back to sleep. My throat and neck are about the same as they were over the weekend - sore throat and a red neck. Yee-haw! I'm pleased to report I did not have a headache or nausea, but I was experiencing some hunger pains.
Getting up early allowed me to feed early enough to allow a second feeding before we left for my appointments. I was also able to take a good two hour nap, which in hindsight is a blessing considering how long these appointments seemed to be.
I was dreading radiation today. To be honest... I'm about fed-up completely with this whole thing. But, like a good soldier... I marched in there and faced the enemy with a heart full of courage. You know... these appointments would be much worse if it weren't for the outstanding staff at both the Radiation Oncology Clinic and the North Campus Cancer Clinic. To be honest, my cheerful spirit would not exist if it weren't for the genuine care and affection these nurses show towards me each and every time I come in for treatment. It doesn't matter how dumpy I feel when I walk into the clinic... as soon as I make contact with the nurse staff... I suddenly feel much better. Part of it may be the extrovert in me responding to having social contact, but most of it is the positive energy coming from the nurses. Everyday they ask me how I'm doing and offer both encouragement and advice. They know my name, they know my diagnosis, and they know how I respond to the care I am receiving.
The only difference in today is that I had more to report to the nurses since we were coming off a weekend break. The treatment itself went well. Usually I go to sleep, but today I was too engaged in my own thoughts to nod off. I couldn't help but to think how grateful I was that the treatments were, for the most part, bearable. Going into this, I envisioned a horrific experience. Many head and neck cancer survivors report the mask as being a torture device that should not be taken lightly. I've seen entire forum topics dedicated to "surviving the mask." I can definitely see how it would be horrific to some... especially if someone if claustrophobic or has severe skin burns on the neck. I am not afraid of tight spaces and my skin has not burned so badly that the mask causes pain. For this, I am grateful.
My chemo appointment was very long. I had forgotten than Jess and I usually fill the time between radiation and chemo with a lunch date. I convinced her we needed to go straight to the clinic, which resulted in a long wait before getting to see the doctor. To fill some of that time, Jess and Oscar went to the cafe and had lunch, while I walked around looking at art and shopping in the gift store. I bought one of those cancer ribbon magnets for the house. Jess asked if I was going to put the magnet on my truck, which was met with a very quick, "NO!" I like my truck clean - no bumper stickers or magnets. I'm weird like that. Anyways, I told Jess it would be for the refrigerator.
It took close to an hour and a half before I was finally called back to see the doc. It had been a couple weeks since I got to see my primary medical oncologist. She had been on vacation and left me in the care of the physician's assistant. We talked about the tinnitus I was experiencing, which is now constant, but at a very low decibel. In fact, I can only hear the constant ringing when I am in a quiet room with no background noise. I still get the random high pitch rings, but the doc doesn't seem to be overly concerned with it. She said that if I were experiencing hearing loss then it would be a concern. The fact is... all of her previous patients that received Cisplatin reported having tinnitus while receiving chemo, but also reported it going away within three months following treatment. That's good enough for me! So... off I went for my fifth chemo infusion.
Because my appointments are always scheduled late in the day, I am always one of the last people in the treatment ward to receive my chemo infusion. Today, I was the only patient in my little pod. Jess and Oscar joined me to keep me company. We were also blessed to have the company of an old friend. One of the gals that ran the clinical trial stopped-by to catch-up. She still follows my treatment closely since my treatment results are collected for the trial's report. Jess told her about this blog, which prompted me to informed her that she has made appearances within some of the entries. She seemed interested, so I pulled out my phone so I could share with her an example of an entry she was in. The first one that caught my eye was "Deuces." This was the blog entry where I joked about having to give a stool sample. I read a couple parts to her, and she loved it.
We finally got out of the clinic at 6:00. By the time we got home, it was nearly 7:00. On any other day I would have crashed immediately, but today I am hyped-up on the steroids from the chemo. So... I helped Jess do some quick yard work, walked the dogs, and enjoyed a nice dinner with Jess. It is now 9:30 and should be tired, but I'm not. I fear I will be awake for a bit. These steroids are hard to shake, but when they die off... I usually crash hard. I think I will try my extra-strength, painkiller mouthwash tonight. It is a stronger, longer lasting pain reliever than the Magic Mouthwash. And unlike the Magic Mouthwash, it will cause me to be sleepy. The doc says it will be similar to taking Benadryl.
Goodnight everyone. Lets hope for a good Tuesday!
To learn more about my fundraiser, go-to: https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
Sunday, June 11, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 28
Good evening - I hope you all had a stellar weekend.
My weekend has been filled with new challenges. This battle against cancer has entered a new phase... a phase in which the weapons used to fight cancer begin inflicting damage on both sides of the battlefield. The chemo infusions and radiation treatments are tearing through my body like a bull in a china shop.
Last night was the first time since treatments began that I go sick (threw-up). Shortly after completing my blog, I found myself having extreme stomach cramps followed by uncontrollable nausea. I have medications that help prevent nausea, but I have not been taking them since no need existed. My stomach must have been empty when I got sick because all that came out of me was bright yellow bile. And since my throat is already sore and raw from the radiation, the pain was excruciating. If you have ever been sick enough to puck bile... then you know how irritating it is on the throat. Well imagine already having sores covering the lining of your esophagus...
I woke-up today with my throat on fire. It was partially relieved by drinking some water, but I could still feel the effects of being sick. Over the course of the day, my throat feels a little better, but I fear pain is a constant until treatment is over.
The mucus build-up has been annoying. Every couple minutes I am forced to clear my airway or aspirate on the gunk. The mucus is still thin and somewhat easy to clear, but I am told it will get much thicker. When I attempt to choke the gunk up, I find myself dry heaving... on the verge of getting sick altogether. I have a very sensitive gag reflex so I imagine I will get sick often when the gunk does get thick.
My neck skin is red. It is still soft and painless, but I imagine it too will take a turn for the worst over the next week of so.
The mouth sores are getting worse. My gums are extremely raw, especially toward my back molars. It makes for brushing my teeth extremely difficult and painful. I will be force to start using my Magic Mouthwash very soon... that or avoid brushing my teeth all together.
I'm not drinking water as often as I should. I'm at least aware of this and supplementing my normal water intake through my PEG tube. It is important I keep swallowing, which is why drinking water is still important.
I know the last couple days have been filled with bad news, but please know I am still very much filled with a fighting spirit. In fact, I have been trying to occupy my mind by planning for the future.
You may recall me mentioning my dream of hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Well, I'm heeding my own words by taking the necessary steps towards achieving this goal. Hiking the PCT is no easy feat. We're talking about hiking up and down every mountain rage in California, Oregon, and Washington - from Mexico to Canada. The trail is 2,650 miles long and will take me between four and five months. It will be both physically and mentally demanding. With that being said... I have a lot of work ahead of me to prepare for such an adventure. First, I need to win this battle against cancer. Then I need to heal and recondition myself to be able to hike suck long distances. And finally, I need to make sure I know what the heck I'm doing!
So, my plan is to start small. I will begin backpacking on small trips - 2 to 3 days. Then I'll work my way up to longer trips. Eventually... in 2020, I will separate from the Air Force. Immediately following my retirement is when I plan on setting-out on this adventure.
Backpacking gear is not cheap. I have set-up a fundraiser in hopes of raising enough money to purchase everything I need to immediately pursue this dream. I appreciate any assistance provided!
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
My weekend has been filled with new challenges. This battle against cancer has entered a new phase... a phase in which the weapons used to fight cancer begin inflicting damage on both sides of the battlefield. The chemo infusions and radiation treatments are tearing through my body like a bull in a china shop.
Last night was the first time since treatments began that I go sick (threw-up). Shortly after completing my blog, I found myself having extreme stomach cramps followed by uncontrollable nausea. I have medications that help prevent nausea, but I have not been taking them since no need existed. My stomach must have been empty when I got sick because all that came out of me was bright yellow bile. And since my throat is already sore and raw from the radiation, the pain was excruciating. If you have ever been sick enough to puck bile... then you know how irritating it is on the throat. Well imagine already having sores covering the lining of your esophagus...
I woke-up today with my throat on fire. It was partially relieved by drinking some water, but I could still feel the effects of being sick. Over the course of the day, my throat feels a little better, but I fear pain is a constant until treatment is over.
The mucus build-up has been annoying. Every couple minutes I am forced to clear my airway or aspirate on the gunk. The mucus is still thin and somewhat easy to clear, but I am told it will get much thicker. When I attempt to choke the gunk up, I find myself dry heaving... on the verge of getting sick altogether. I have a very sensitive gag reflex so I imagine I will get sick often when the gunk does get thick.
My neck skin is red. It is still soft and painless, but I imagine it too will take a turn for the worst over the next week of so.
The mouth sores are getting worse. My gums are extremely raw, especially toward my back molars. It makes for brushing my teeth extremely difficult and painful. I will be force to start using my Magic Mouthwash very soon... that or avoid brushing my teeth all together.
I'm not drinking water as often as I should. I'm at least aware of this and supplementing my normal water intake through my PEG tube. It is important I keep swallowing, which is why drinking water is still important.
I know the last couple days have been filled with bad news, but please know I am still very much filled with a fighting spirit. In fact, I have been trying to occupy my mind by planning for the future.
You may recall me mentioning my dream of hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Well, I'm heeding my own words by taking the necessary steps towards achieving this goal. Hiking the PCT is no easy feat. We're talking about hiking up and down every mountain rage in California, Oregon, and Washington - from Mexico to Canada. The trail is 2,650 miles long and will take me between four and five months. It will be both physically and mentally demanding. With that being said... I have a lot of work ahead of me to prepare for such an adventure. First, I need to win this battle against cancer. Then I need to heal and recondition myself to be able to hike suck long distances. And finally, I need to make sure I know what the heck I'm doing!
So, my plan is to start small. I will begin backpacking on small trips - 2 to 3 days. Then I'll work my way up to longer trips. Eventually... in 2020, I will separate from the Air Force. Immediately following my retirement is when I plan on setting-out on this adventure.
Backpacking gear is not cheap. I have set-up a fundraiser in hopes of raising enough money to purchase everything I need to immediately pursue this dream. I appreciate any assistance provided!
https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
Saturday, June 10, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 27
Hello world!
I hope you all are having a swell weekend. I'm getting to do exactly what I intended on doing... rest.I'm going to keep this short so I can go back to resting. Today feels a lot like yesterday. My throat is dry, and I'm constantly trying to choke down mucus. I'm using my salt/baking soda rinse and eating spoon fulls of honey, but that only provides temporary relief. The honey tastes bad to me, so its a constant struggle trying to determine whether or not its even worth the trouble. I've had a slight headache on and off today, but nothing I can't handle. There are new sores in my mouth, but since I don't use my mouth for anything, they go unprovoked.
I have been feeding based on my new scheduled, although I don't have much of an appetite. I think my body is still getting used to the Liquid Hope because my tummy always feels odd after having fed. My stomach feels uneasy, yet not quite nauseous; somewhere in-between. The Liquid Hope is also packed full of fiber, so I'm needing to use the restroom more often than norm. Luckily, no diarrhea and no constipation.
Like yesterday, I have an overall feeling of YUK. If I didn't have to worry about staying nourished and hydrated, I'd just sleep until my cancer treatments were done.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Please be safe!
I hope you all are having a swell weekend. I'm getting to do exactly what I intended on doing... rest.I'm going to keep this short so I can go back to resting. Today feels a lot like yesterday. My throat is dry, and I'm constantly trying to choke down mucus. I'm using my salt/baking soda rinse and eating spoon fulls of honey, but that only provides temporary relief. The honey tastes bad to me, so its a constant struggle trying to determine whether or not its even worth the trouble. I've had a slight headache on and off today, but nothing I can't handle. There are new sores in my mouth, but since I don't use my mouth for anything, they go unprovoked.
I have been feeding based on my new scheduled, although I don't have much of an appetite. I think my body is still getting used to the Liquid Hope because my tummy always feels odd after having fed. My stomach feels uneasy, yet not quite nauseous; somewhere in-between. The Liquid Hope is also packed full of fiber, so I'm needing to use the restroom more often than norm. Luckily, no diarrhea and no constipation.
Like yesterday, I have an overall feeling of YUK. If I didn't have to worry about staying nourished and hydrated, I'd just sleep until my cancer treatments were done.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Please be safe!
Friday, June 9, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 26
Hello family and friends. I hope you all had a wonderful week; I have no doubt we all deserve a relaxing weekend.
Today has been rough. I woke-up this morning getting a taste of what to expect over the next few weeks. My throat feels extremely dry and it's becoming increasingly difficult to swallow. There is a bit of pain when I do swallow, which seems to be constant due to the never-ending mucus build-up. I've had a headache on-and-off, and for the first time... the occasional nausea. To complicate things even more... my tinnitus is now accompanied by slight ear pain. I have a feeling this may delay my next chemo infusion. All-in-all, I feel like poo today. I felt this way when I woke-up, and the feeling hasn't escaped me for most of the day.
Radiation was okay. The staff could tell I was beginning to feel under the weather because I wasn't my normal, chipper self. Luckily we didn't wait long and were able to get in-and-out relatively quick.
I felt so drained today that I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I don't like falling asleep when its just Jess and I because it feels rude not leaving myself available to talk to.
I made it a point to establish some kind of feeding schedule. I need to take-in four to five bags of Liquid Hope a day, which means the typical breakfast, lunch, and dinner will not suffice. Plus, the food must digest quicker since it is in liquid form because I tend to get hungry quick. So, I tried to space my feed times out... adding one more feeding and making it a point to get out of bed earlier so I'm not eating so late in the morning.
Speaking of Liquid Hope... I received two more cases via UPS today, so I should be good to go for at least another week and a half.
There really isn't much more to report. My day has been spent either feeding or sleeping. Luckily the pain is minimal and breathing is not an issue, so sleeping has not yet become a problem. My energy levels are definitely low. I'm really hoping the next two days help to recharge my batteries before I have to face another week of torture. I'm trying my hardest to remain optimistic, but the slow decline in health cannot be ignored. I try to stay focused on the numbers... Only 2 more chemo infusions and 12 more radiation treatments.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Today has been rough. I woke-up this morning getting a taste of what to expect over the next few weeks. My throat feels extremely dry and it's becoming increasingly difficult to swallow. There is a bit of pain when I do swallow, which seems to be constant due to the never-ending mucus build-up. I've had a headache on-and-off, and for the first time... the occasional nausea. To complicate things even more... my tinnitus is now accompanied by slight ear pain. I have a feeling this may delay my next chemo infusion. All-in-all, I feel like poo today. I felt this way when I woke-up, and the feeling hasn't escaped me for most of the day.
Radiation was okay. The staff could tell I was beginning to feel under the weather because I wasn't my normal, chipper self. Luckily we didn't wait long and were able to get in-and-out relatively quick.
I felt so drained today that I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I don't like falling asleep when its just Jess and I because it feels rude not leaving myself available to talk to.
I made it a point to establish some kind of feeding schedule. I need to take-in four to five bags of Liquid Hope a day, which means the typical breakfast, lunch, and dinner will not suffice. Plus, the food must digest quicker since it is in liquid form because I tend to get hungry quick. So, I tried to space my feed times out... adding one more feeding and making it a point to get out of bed earlier so I'm not eating so late in the morning.
Speaking of Liquid Hope... I received two more cases via UPS today, so I should be good to go for at least another week and a half.
There really isn't much more to report. My day has been spent either feeding or sleeping. Luckily the pain is minimal and breathing is not an issue, so sleeping has not yet become a problem. My energy levels are definitely low. I'm really hoping the next two days help to recharge my batteries before I have to face another week of torture. I'm trying my hardest to remain optimistic, but the slow decline in health cannot be ignored. I try to stay focused on the numbers... Only 2 more chemo infusions and 12 more radiation treatments.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, June 8, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 25
Good evening.
Wow, today has been quite the roller coaster - full of both highs and lows.
I woke-up this morning feeling great. My throat felt extremely dry and uncomfortable, but all-in-all, I really did feel good. No headache, no pains, and no flu like symptoms. For it being the second day following chemo, I felt unusually good.
Jess had an appointment on base to get the kids new ID cards, so I was able to ease into my morning without kids running around the kitchen - arguing about what to eat and who's mess is who's. I hooked myself up to a gravity feed bag this morning and enjoyed some T.V. This feeding tube thing is getting a lot easier, and to be quite frank... it is easier and quicker than having to prepare the food, eat the food, and then clean-up one's mess. Don't get me wrong... I miss the taste of food greatly. That can never be replaced. But, it is nice knowing I can find something to be optimistic about in regards to eating (if I can call it that).
Jess and I headed for my radiation appointment at the usual time. Today is Thursday which means I get to meet with my Radiation Oncologist in addition to getting zapped. On the way to my appointment, I began feeling lethargic. It could have been my meds kicking in, but I suddenly felt like I could go for a nap. By the time we reached the hospital, I was feeling great again. I don't know what changed... maybe the increased blood-pressure from dealing with the dreaded parking garage?
My appointment went okay. I entered the CT machine feeling good, but something about this radiation session made me feel a little uneasy. When I initially stepped away from the machine, I felt as though someone knocked my energy level down a couple pegs. I made it to the waiting area just in time to get called back by the nurse who would obtain my vitals and get me situated for the doctor's visit. Everything checked-out great.
When the doctor came in, he took one look at me, then stood there slightly perplexed. He asked me why I looked as good as I did. I joked and told him I was immune to his radiation treatments. He laughed as he approached me and began accessing my neck with his hands. The doc seemed quite impressed that I had not developed some of the side-effects most patients would have at this point. I asked if my youth had anything to do with it. He agreed that it could be a possibility, but assured me I still had a long way to go before I was out of the dog house. The doc reminded me that not only do I have two more weeks of treatments... I also have the two weeks following treatment where the radiation continues to do its work on my body. Wow... a month left of radiation. As we left, I promised the doc I would come-in next week looking a little more worse for wear. He laughed.
I felt completely exhausted by the end of my appointment. I felt like nodding off on the way home, and I may have for a couple moments. We didn't stop anywhere because I had another appointment at the house. A lady from the medical supply company was scheduled to stop by the house to explain the services I would be receiving and to educate me on how to use my feeding tube. Well... I figured the feeding tube out on my own, so needless to say, it was going to be a short visit.
The medical supply representative was a little late because her previous appointment ran a little long. She was very nice and informed Jess and me that I should expect my first delivery tomorrow. As I expected, the visit was quick since she didn't have to teach me anything new. I guess most of her patients are those with brand-new, unused feeding tubes, with no idea how to operate them.
I'm pretty sure I was well on my way to my room for a nap before the medical supply rep could get her car moving down our street. I crashed for all most three hours. When I woke, I still felt tired, but I also had hunger aches coming from my belly. I made my way downstairs and immediately fed myself. I used another gravity bag so I could enjoy my dinner on the couch while watching M*A*S*H. After a couple episodes, I got-up, cleaned-up, then plopped back down on the couch for some more T.V.
As the evening went on, I began feeling more and more ill. Jess suggested that I didn't get enough fluids today, and I agreed. So, I am sitting here now, discussing my day with you while getting water delivered to my stomach via another gravity bag.
I'm about to head to bed. I have a lot of mucus building-up in my throat that I will need to expel before I can sleep. This is something new. Usually, my morning mucus cleaning is all that is needed. Now it is beginning to build-up through-out the day. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday, which means I am only one day away from my weekend reprieve.
Wow, today has been quite the roller coaster - full of both highs and lows.
I woke-up this morning feeling great. My throat felt extremely dry and uncomfortable, but all-in-all, I really did feel good. No headache, no pains, and no flu like symptoms. For it being the second day following chemo, I felt unusually good.
Jess had an appointment on base to get the kids new ID cards, so I was able to ease into my morning without kids running around the kitchen - arguing about what to eat and who's mess is who's. I hooked myself up to a gravity feed bag this morning and enjoyed some T.V. This feeding tube thing is getting a lot easier, and to be quite frank... it is easier and quicker than having to prepare the food, eat the food, and then clean-up one's mess. Don't get me wrong... I miss the taste of food greatly. That can never be replaced. But, it is nice knowing I can find something to be optimistic about in regards to eating (if I can call it that).
Jess and I headed for my radiation appointment at the usual time. Today is Thursday which means I get to meet with my Radiation Oncologist in addition to getting zapped. On the way to my appointment, I began feeling lethargic. It could have been my meds kicking in, but I suddenly felt like I could go for a nap. By the time we reached the hospital, I was feeling great again. I don't know what changed... maybe the increased blood-pressure from dealing with the dreaded parking garage?
My appointment went okay. I entered the CT machine feeling good, but something about this radiation session made me feel a little uneasy. When I initially stepped away from the machine, I felt as though someone knocked my energy level down a couple pegs. I made it to the waiting area just in time to get called back by the nurse who would obtain my vitals and get me situated for the doctor's visit. Everything checked-out great.
When the doctor came in, he took one look at me, then stood there slightly perplexed. He asked me why I looked as good as I did. I joked and told him I was immune to his radiation treatments. He laughed as he approached me and began accessing my neck with his hands. The doc seemed quite impressed that I had not developed some of the side-effects most patients would have at this point. I asked if my youth had anything to do with it. He agreed that it could be a possibility, but assured me I still had a long way to go before I was out of the dog house. The doc reminded me that not only do I have two more weeks of treatments... I also have the two weeks following treatment where the radiation continues to do its work on my body. Wow... a month left of radiation. As we left, I promised the doc I would come-in next week looking a little more worse for wear. He laughed.
I felt completely exhausted by the end of my appointment. I felt like nodding off on the way home, and I may have for a couple moments. We didn't stop anywhere because I had another appointment at the house. A lady from the medical supply company was scheduled to stop by the house to explain the services I would be receiving and to educate me on how to use my feeding tube. Well... I figured the feeding tube out on my own, so needless to say, it was going to be a short visit.
The medical supply representative was a little late because her previous appointment ran a little long. She was very nice and informed Jess and me that I should expect my first delivery tomorrow. As I expected, the visit was quick since she didn't have to teach me anything new. I guess most of her patients are those with brand-new, unused feeding tubes, with no idea how to operate them.
I'm pretty sure I was well on my way to my room for a nap before the medical supply rep could get her car moving down our street. I crashed for all most three hours. When I woke, I still felt tired, but I also had hunger aches coming from my belly. I made my way downstairs and immediately fed myself. I used another gravity bag so I could enjoy my dinner on the couch while watching M*A*S*H. After a couple episodes, I got-up, cleaned-up, then plopped back down on the couch for some more T.V.
As the evening went on, I began feeling more and more ill. Jess suggested that I didn't get enough fluids today, and I agreed. So, I am sitting here now, discussing my day with you while getting water delivered to my stomach via another gravity bag.
I'm about to head to bed. I have a lot of mucus building-up in my throat that I will need to expel before I can sleep. This is something new. Usually, my morning mucus cleaning is all that is needed. Now it is beginning to build-up through-out the day. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday, which means I am only one day away from my weekend reprieve.
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 24
Greetings and Happy Hump-Day!
Today was the first day following chemo so naturally I had some moment of fatigue. But, we'll get there in a minute...
I woke-up this morning feeling okay. I had my usually post-chemo headache, but I was able to resolve it relatively quickly. In addition to the headache, I had my usual dry mouth and sore throat. Today was unique in that the mucus build-up in my throat was nearly choking me. It took a hot shower and some crafty coughing to dislodge all the overnight build-up, but by the end of it, I felt like my usual self.
I had more energy this morning than I would have expected following chemo. It could have been due to some lingering steroids, but I have no way of telling for sure. Jess and I had to get ready earlier than usual because I had an appointment with the lymphedema specialist at 10:00. To ensure we made it there in time, we had to be out of the house by 9:15.
The lymphedema appointment went well. My headache was still lingering, so the therapist was kind enough to have me lay down for most of my treatment. She praised our (Jess') message efforts over the past week. The therapist could tell that my scar tissue had softened-up quite a bit since my last appointment. I wish I could take credit for this but, doing so would be robbing Jess of her accomplishments. My appointment was scheduled for an hour, but since the appointment following mine cancelled, I received an extra 45 minutes of treatment. The therapist is amazed at how well I've thwarted-off the usual skin burns. She is no spring chicken, and in her many years of treating patients undergoing the same treatments me, she has never seen anyone as far into treatment, not show the burning one would expect at this point. I told her I was receiving similar comments at the cancer center in regard to my miracle blood cells. The whole discussion had me wondering if I might get through this entire ordeal relatively easy. We'll see... lets not get our hopes up.
We had just enough time to get from one appointment to another. We arrived to my radiation treatment a couple minutes before my scheduled time. By the looks of the waiting room, there was no way I was getting in early, so no harm done. Boy was I right. Today ended-up being one of the longest waits we've had. Luckily we had some nice people surrounding us that were able to carry on good conversations. One man was there supporting his younger brother who was fighting the same cancer as me - I think I mentioned him yesterday. If I had to guess, I would say both gentlemen are in their sixties. The brother with cancer is seven treatments behind me, so being able to provide someone else tips for once felt kinda nice.
The other patron in the waiting area was a gal my age. She was there supporting her 76 year old uncle and aunt whom both found out they had cancer within a week of one-another. Her uncle has lung cancer. He was a miner for many years and does not want to undergo any treatments. Her aunt was diagnosed with lymphoma and insists that if she fights, he fights. His cancer getting the best of him quick. In fact, the gal I was speaking with was confident he would be admitted due to his current condition. By the sound of it... he could use some extra prayers if any of you have the time.
By the time my radiation treatment was over, I could feel the chemo really kicking in. I was suddenly drained and looked forward to heading home.
Once at home, I tube fed then crashed for what ended up being nearly 4 hours. I woke-up just before 6:00, feeling hungry again. I decided I would try using one of my new gravity feed bags instead of pumping. It was easy to set-up and a lot less messy than using the syringe. It was also nice to lounge back in my recliner while the gravity bag did all the work.
So, today was the first day I went without eating anything in the tradition sense. Everything was tubed in. All three meals were Liquid Hope... which reminds me. I got the call today that I would be receiving scheduled deliveries of both Liquid Hope and medical supplies for tube feeding. By the sounds of it... Tricare is going to pick-up the tab! I am extremely grateful for this. I truly believe this Liquid Hope formula will provide me the healthy balance of calories, fiber, protein, and nutrients I need to maintain my fighting stance. I just hope this doesn't turn into a six month ordeal like I know if has for some people. Lets hope my taste-buds recover quickly!
May peace be with all of us! Goodnight.
Today was the first day following chemo so naturally I had some moment of fatigue. But, we'll get there in a minute...
I woke-up this morning feeling okay. I had my usually post-chemo headache, but I was able to resolve it relatively quickly. In addition to the headache, I had my usual dry mouth and sore throat. Today was unique in that the mucus build-up in my throat was nearly choking me. It took a hot shower and some crafty coughing to dislodge all the overnight build-up, but by the end of it, I felt like my usual self.
I had more energy this morning than I would have expected following chemo. It could have been due to some lingering steroids, but I have no way of telling for sure. Jess and I had to get ready earlier than usual because I had an appointment with the lymphedema specialist at 10:00. To ensure we made it there in time, we had to be out of the house by 9:15.
The lymphedema appointment went well. My headache was still lingering, so the therapist was kind enough to have me lay down for most of my treatment. She praised our (Jess') message efforts over the past week. The therapist could tell that my scar tissue had softened-up quite a bit since my last appointment. I wish I could take credit for this but, doing so would be robbing Jess of her accomplishments. My appointment was scheduled for an hour, but since the appointment following mine cancelled, I received an extra 45 minutes of treatment. The therapist is amazed at how well I've thwarted-off the usual skin burns. She is no spring chicken, and in her many years of treating patients undergoing the same treatments me, she has never seen anyone as far into treatment, not show the burning one would expect at this point. I told her I was receiving similar comments at the cancer center in regard to my miracle blood cells. The whole discussion had me wondering if I might get through this entire ordeal relatively easy. We'll see... lets not get our hopes up.
We had just enough time to get from one appointment to another. We arrived to my radiation treatment a couple minutes before my scheduled time. By the looks of the waiting room, there was no way I was getting in early, so no harm done. Boy was I right. Today ended-up being one of the longest waits we've had. Luckily we had some nice people surrounding us that were able to carry on good conversations. One man was there supporting his younger brother who was fighting the same cancer as me - I think I mentioned him yesterday. If I had to guess, I would say both gentlemen are in their sixties. The brother with cancer is seven treatments behind me, so being able to provide someone else tips for once felt kinda nice.
The other patron in the waiting area was a gal my age. She was there supporting her 76 year old uncle and aunt whom both found out they had cancer within a week of one-another. Her uncle has lung cancer. He was a miner for many years and does not want to undergo any treatments. Her aunt was diagnosed with lymphoma and insists that if she fights, he fights. His cancer getting the best of him quick. In fact, the gal I was speaking with was confident he would be admitted due to his current condition. By the sound of it... he could use some extra prayers if any of you have the time.
By the time my radiation treatment was over, I could feel the chemo really kicking in. I was suddenly drained and looked forward to heading home.
Once at home, I tube fed then crashed for what ended up being nearly 4 hours. I woke-up just before 6:00, feeling hungry again. I decided I would try using one of my new gravity feed bags instead of pumping. It was easy to set-up and a lot less messy than using the syringe. It was also nice to lounge back in my recliner while the gravity bag did all the work.
So, today was the first day I went without eating anything in the tradition sense. Everything was tubed in. All three meals were Liquid Hope... which reminds me. I got the call today that I would be receiving scheduled deliveries of both Liquid Hope and medical supplies for tube feeding. By the sounds of it... Tricare is going to pick-up the tab! I am extremely grateful for this. I truly believe this Liquid Hope formula will provide me the healthy balance of calories, fiber, protein, and nutrients I need to maintain my fighting stance. I just hope this doesn't turn into a six month ordeal like I know if has for some people. Lets hope my taste-buds recover quickly!
May peace be with all of us! Goodnight.
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 23
Well hello! It's nice to see you again. Thanks to you and many other friends and family members, my blog has been visited over 10,000 times. I know this is a long way from the millions of views some YouTubers get for a single video, but it means a lot to me. Your willingness to take this ride with me lifts my spirit!
Today was hectic! We had to start our day early due to a temporary change in my radiation schedule. Normally my radiation appointment is slotted for 12:20, but for today only, I was asked to come in at 9:20. This meant I had to drag my sorry sack out of bed, get washed-up, and dressed much sooner than I normally would have. On a good note... I was feeling great this morning. I had the typical sore throat, mouth sores, and neck stiffness, but I was filled with an energy that I had missed over the last couple weeks. I think it has a lot to do with it being a week since my last chemotherapy session. If that is the case... then today will change all that.
Due to us anticipating being gone for most of the day, Jess and I decided Jacee would tag along with us. Our first stop was the Radiation Oncology clinic. It was both interesting and annoying having to go in so early. It was interesting because I was able to meet new people - to include a fellow head and neck warrior. He wasn't as cool as Doug, but he was enjoyable to talk to. I was annoyed because the clinic was obviously backed-up. My appointment was scheduled for 9:20, but I didn't get zapped until close to 10:00. Luckily Jacee was being sweet this morning; it must have been the chocolate doughnut she had for breakfast.
We had two and a half hours to kill between appointments, so we decided to run a couple errands. First, we attempted to pick-up some school pictures from JCPenny's, but the photo studio is closed on Tuesdays. Our next stop was Sport Clips for some haircuts. Jacee had been wanting a haircut and Jess convinced her to cut it short, so we got her into a chain. I also wanted to get a haircut to fix the back of my head. I got a close fade which worked in hiding the bottom two inches of missing hair. It is a little closer than I normally would like it, but it looks decent enough. Plus, it is so hot right now that having less hair is a plus.
I knew the girls would be getting hungry around lunch time so I recommended to Jess that we stop for lunch. She insisted that they would be okay, but I knew she was only trying to be sensitive to my current condition. I insisted they eat, which was met with the recommendation of a buffet... an idea I may have inspired. I told Jess that many recovering head and neck cancer survivors like eating at buffets because they can sample a large variety of food until they find something they like. So, for lunch we ate at the Golden Corral.
I walked around Golden Coral placing small samples of food I thought might be palatable on my plate. I got a couple funny looks as I grabbed these ridiculously small sample sizes. but I knew if I got too much of something, I would be forced to eat it out of guilt. Anyways.... what I deducted from this trip is that the only foods from Golden Coral I can tolerate are poached eggs and chocolate. Everything else was repulsive... at best. I've decided that today's lunch experience will be the last time I attempt to eat solid foods until I expect my taste to return. I fear I will inadvertently change my perception towards foods I currently like, for the worse.
After lunch, we had to make our way back towards the college for my chemotherapy appointment. We reached the clinic with ten minutes to spare. I had four appointments scheduled today: labs, check-up with the oncologist, chemo infusion, and nutritionist.
My labs went quick... a it always does. A simple stick to the top of my hand and its done within minutes. What is really impressive is how quickly they can take the blood samples, run the diagnostic tests they need, and return the results to the doctor. We're talking within a matter of twenty minutes... maybe less.
My medical check-up went well. I continue to impress the doctors and nurses by how resilient my body is against the effects of chemo. My white blood-cell count is still relatively high. The nurse practitioner explained to us that the blood test indicates how many old and young white blood-cells exist. In my case, both my old and young cell count was higher than normal. I can only assume this means my blood cells are resilient... capable of producing new cells despite the poison flowing in my veins.
The tinnitus I've been experiencing is a concern. The doctors are concerned that the tinnitus could be a sign of possible hearing loss... a known side-effect of Cisplatin. They would like me to schedule a hearing exam with the base audiology department. Since I have never had a hearing exam at the University's hospital, the only way to determine hearing loss is for the military to conduct the test and compare it to my last annual exam.
I had my chemo infusion immediately following my check-up. We were hoping to bring Jacee with us, but no children under the age of twelve are allowed in the infusion rooms. I can understand why...
So, while I received my treatment, Jess and Jacee headed off to Walmart and then a playground.
My treatment went well. In fact, I fell asleep for the first half hour, only to wake-up needing to use the restroom. While away, the nutritionist had shown-up for my fourth appointment.
The nutritionist and I met for the last forty-five minutes of my chemo infusion. She informed me that we were very close to knowing whether or not I could expect Tricare to fund my Liquid Hope. She seemed very confident that all would go our way, but I'll hold off from celebrating until I see a package delivered to my front door. I informed her that I was now tube feeding on a more regular basis. I also addressed a couple concerns I had with the tube itself, which she was able to provide me the tools I needed to fix the problem.
It was 5:15 by the time I was done at the cancer clinic. By the time I found the girls and loaded-up in the truck, it was 5:30. It was a long day, but we had one more stop to make before we could head home.
I was informed by my fire chief that one of my fellow Master Sergeants was having a going away/retirement dinner at Dave and Busters. It was on the way home, so we decided to stop for a couple minutes. Jacee had not been there before, so we bought her some time on the games while I caught-up with the guys from work. Jess didn't want to eat there, so we left just as food was starting to arrive.
I'm home now. I've had my tube dinner and now I'm filling all of you in on my adventure. Jess and the kids are watching Pirates of the Caribbean, so I think I will join them.
Have a good night!
Today was hectic! We had to start our day early due to a temporary change in my radiation schedule. Normally my radiation appointment is slotted for 12:20, but for today only, I was asked to come in at 9:20. This meant I had to drag my sorry sack out of bed, get washed-up, and dressed much sooner than I normally would have. On a good note... I was feeling great this morning. I had the typical sore throat, mouth sores, and neck stiffness, but I was filled with an energy that I had missed over the last couple weeks. I think it has a lot to do with it being a week since my last chemotherapy session. If that is the case... then today will change all that.
Due to us anticipating being gone for most of the day, Jess and I decided Jacee would tag along with us. Our first stop was the Radiation Oncology clinic. It was both interesting and annoying having to go in so early. It was interesting because I was able to meet new people - to include a fellow head and neck warrior. He wasn't as cool as Doug, but he was enjoyable to talk to. I was annoyed because the clinic was obviously backed-up. My appointment was scheduled for 9:20, but I didn't get zapped until close to 10:00. Luckily Jacee was being sweet this morning; it must have been the chocolate doughnut she had for breakfast.
We had two and a half hours to kill between appointments, so we decided to run a couple errands. First, we attempted to pick-up some school pictures from JCPenny's, but the photo studio is closed on Tuesdays. Our next stop was Sport Clips for some haircuts. Jacee had been wanting a haircut and Jess convinced her to cut it short, so we got her into a chain. I also wanted to get a haircut to fix the back of my head. I got a close fade which worked in hiding the bottom two inches of missing hair. It is a little closer than I normally would like it, but it looks decent enough. Plus, it is so hot right now that having less hair is a plus.
I knew the girls would be getting hungry around lunch time so I recommended to Jess that we stop for lunch. She insisted that they would be okay, but I knew she was only trying to be sensitive to my current condition. I insisted they eat, which was met with the recommendation of a buffet... an idea I may have inspired. I told Jess that many recovering head and neck cancer survivors like eating at buffets because they can sample a large variety of food until they find something they like. So, for lunch we ate at the Golden Corral.
I walked around Golden Coral placing small samples of food I thought might be palatable on my plate. I got a couple funny looks as I grabbed these ridiculously small sample sizes. but I knew if I got too much of something, I would be forced to eat it out of guilt. Anyways.... what I deducted from this trip is that the only foods from Golden Coral I can tolerate are poached eggs and chocolate. Everything else was repulsive... at best. I've decided that today's lunch experience will be the last time I attempt to eat solid foods until I expect my taste to return. I fear I will inadvertently change my perception towards foods I currently like, for the worse.
After lunch, we had to make our way back towards the college for my chemotherapy appointment. We reached the clinic with ten minutes to spare. I had four appointments scheduled today: labs, check-up with the oncologist, chemo infusion, and nutritionist.
My labs went quick... a it always does. A simple stick to the top of my hand and its done within minutes. What is really impressive is how quickly they can take the blood samples, run the diagnostic tests they need, and return the results to the doctor. We're talking within a matter of twenty minutes... maybe less.
My medical check-up went well. I continue to impress the doctors and nurses by how resilient my body is against the effects of chemo. My white blood-cell count is still relatively high. The nurse practitioner explained to us that the blood test indicates how many old and young white blood-cells exist. In my case, both my old and young cell count was higher than normal. I can only assume this means my blood cells are resilient... capable of producing new cells despite the poison flowing in my veins.
The tinnitus I've been experiencing is a concern. The doctors are concerned that the tinnitus could be a sign of possible hearing loss... a known side-effect of Cisplatin. They would like me to schedule a hearing exam with the base audiology department. Since I have never had a hearing exam at the University's hospital, the only way to determine hearing loss is for the military to conduct the test and compare it to my last annual exam.
I had my chemo infusion immediately following my check-up. We were hoping to bring Jacee with us, but no children under the age of twelve are allowed in the infusion rooms. I can understand why...
So, while I received my treatment, Jess and Jacee headed off to Walmart and then a playground.
My treatment went well. In fact, I fell asleep for the first half hour, only to wake-up needing to use the restroom. While away, the nutritionist had shown-up for my fourth appointment.
The nutritionist and I met for the last forty-five minutes of my chemo infusion. She informed me that we were very close to knowing whether or not I could expect Tricare to fund my Liquid Hope. She seemed very confident that all would go our way, but I'll hold off from celebrating until I see a package delivered to my front door. I informed her that I was now tube feeding on a more regular basis. I also addressed a couple concerns I had with the tube itself, which she was able to provide me the tools I needed to fix the problem.
It was 5:15 by the time I was done at the cancer clinic. By the time I found the girls and loaded-up in the truck, it was 5:30. It was a long day, but we had one more stop to make before we could head home.
I was informed by my fire chief that one of my fellow Master Sergeants was having a going away/retirement dinner at Dave and Busters. It was on the way home, so we decided to stop for a couple minutes. Jacee had not been there before, so we bought her some time on the games while I caught-up with the guys from work. Jess didn't want to eat there, so we left just as food was starting to arrive.
I'm home now. I've had my tube dinner and now I'm filling all of you in on my adventure. Jess and the kids are watching Pirates of the Caribbean, so I think I will join them.
Have a good night!
Monday, June 5, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 22
Good evening everyone! I hope you all survived Monday and look forward to Tuesday. Today kicked-off my fourth week of receiving cancer treatments.
I woke-up this morning with a lot of mucus in my throat. I spent a couple minutes hacking and coughing, even used warm water in an attempt to knock it loose. It was a little tricky, but I was able to establish a clear windpipe. I've read on many forums that I should expect this mucus to get much worse. I believe this is the first sign that I am developing mucositis, which is a painful inflammation of the mucus membranes. It is very common, rather expected side effect to chemotherapy and radiation for head and neck cancers.
Aside from the mucus build-up, my mouth sores are starting to become irritating. Jess and I had a discussion about it in the car today and we believe the sores may be effecting my ability to speak clearly. We don't know whether it is the swelling and inflammation or instinctive guarding from pain, something is muffling my speech. I need to use my saltwater and baking soda rinse more often, but the thought of adding saltwater to my already super salty tasting mouth is holding me back. As it is, water is getting more and more difficult to drink, and oddly, it has nothing to do with my ability to swallow. I am confident that without this PEG tube, I would starve to death... with or without any associated pain.
Jess had work today, but as usual, she was home by 11:00 to escort me to my appointment. The radiation oncology office must have been busy today because we had wait longer than usual. I was called back about ten minutes past my scheduled appointment time. I wasn't too upset considering how quickly they had got me in and out on Friday. I was going to live stream my radiation session to Facebook today, but there is no signal inside the treatment room due to a foot of lead built-in to each of the surrounding walls. Instead, I recorded the session. It is long, but the video will give you an idea of what I go through during each session.
After my appointment, Jess drove me to REI. I had not been to the REI here in Tucson yet, and was pleased to walk among the many items I hope to one day use as I hike across the Pacific Crest Trail. I didn't buy any camping gear today, but I did get a hiking guide for Arizona. I think I will start will a couple small backpacking adventures before I try to dive into a four to five month expedition. I know there are some great multi-day hikes in the Grand Canyon. If anyone is up for it, let me know so we can start planning soon... Carpe Diem!
I took a good two hour nap when I got home this afternoon. The radiation has a funny way of draining a person almost immediately. I spent the evening tube feeding and watching some T.V. I watched "Hot Pursuit" with Reese Witherspoon and Sophia Vergara. It had some funny lines in it, but overall, not the gut busting comedy I was hoping for.
Well, I need to get to bed soon. I have Radiation at 9:20 followed closely with chemo. I imagine the next couple days will be a blast. NOT!
I woke-up this morning with a lot of mucus in my throat. I spent a couple minutes hacking and coughing, even used warm water in an attempt to knock it loose. It was a little tricky, but I was able to establish a clear windpipe. I've read on many forums that I should expect this mucus to get much worse. I believe this is the first sign that I am developing mucositis, which is a painful inflammation of the mucus membranes. It is very common, rather expected side effect to chemotherapy and radiation for head and neck cancers.
Aside from the mucus build-up, my mouth sores are starting to become irritating. Jess and I had a discussion about it in the car today and we believe the sores may be effecting my ability to speak clearly. We don't know whether it is the swelling and inflammation or instinctive guarding from pain, something is muffling my speech. I need to use my saltwater and baking soda rinse more often, but the thought of adding saltwater to my already super salty tasting mouth is holding me back. As it is, water is getting more and more difficult to drink, and oddly, it has nothing to do with my ability to swallow. I am confident that without this PEG tube, I would starve to death... with or without any associated pain.
Jess had work today, but as usual, she was home by 11:00 to escort me to my appointment. The radiation oncology office must have been busy today because we had wait longer than usual. I was called back about ten minutes past my scheduled appointment time. I wasn't too upset considering how quickly they had got me in and out on Friday. I was going to live stream my radiation session to Facebook today, but there is no signal inside the treatment room due to a foot of lead built-in to each of the surrounding walls. Instead, I recorded the session. It is long, but the video will give you an idea of what I go through during each session.
After my appointment, Jess drove me to REI. I had not been to the REI here in Tucson yet, and was pleased to walk among the many items I hope to one day use as I hike across the Pacific Crest Trail. I didn't buy any camping gear today, but I did get a hiking guide for Arizona. I think I will start will a couple small backpacking adventures before I try to dive into a four to five month expedition. I know there are some great multi-day hikes in the Grand Canyon. If anyone is up for it, let me know so we can start planning soon... Carpe Diem!
I took a good two hour nap when I got home this afternoon. The radiation has a funny way of draining a person almost immediately. I spent the evening tube feeding and watching some T.V. I watched "Hot Pursuit" with Reese Witherspoon and Sophia Vergara. It had some funny lines in it, but overall, not the gut busting comedy I was hoping for.
Well, I need to get to bed soon. I have Radiation at 9:20 followed closely with chemo. I imagine the next couple days will be a blast. NOT!
Sunday, June 4, 2017
The Final Stand - Day 21
Hi.
Wow. I can not believe I have been in treatment for twenty-one days. Honestly, it seems like yesterday I was receiving my first round of chemo.What is ever crazier is that I've been able to captivate all of you for nearly four months now. Time sure does fly by when we're having fun.
Today was much like yesterday. I woke-up with the typical sore throat and dry mouth. I had a slight headache, but that went away once I got out of bed and started moving around.
I experienced something today that I never in my life would have imagined. Bacon nearly made me barf. Jess made breakfast for all the "oral eaters" this morning, which included bacon. The smell of the bacon was making my stomach turn... and not in a good way. In fact, I noticed that the smell of most foods today made me feel slightly uneasy. It truly was depressing. My love for food is being spoiled by the fact my taste sensors are all messed-up. I don't understand the science behind it, but as my taste diminishes, my smell seems to be greatly effected. The things I used to find pleasant smelling are no longer appreciated. In case your wondering... bad things still smell bad.
My hair continues to fall out. I decided to go ahead and shave my face now to prevent my face from looking like a case of mange. There is no hiding the back of my head, but it only appears to go up a couple inches. I just got a haircut a couple days ago. If I knew my hair was going to fall out this soon, I would have had the stylist cut my hair a little closer to the skin. Oh well...
Well... I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Tomorrow starts week four for me: radiation Monday through Friday and chemotherapy on Tuesday.
On a side note. My friend Troy has put together a GoFundMe for his son Caleb. Caleb is a shining star of a young man that lives his life kicking Cerebral Palsy butt. He has recently been selected to receive a top notch service dog. This service dog will enable Caleb to live a more independent life, away from the constant constraints of a walker. I beg you to check out his story. I've added the link to the GoFundMe page, as well as some other links that will allow you to see how inspirational and deserving this young man is!
https://www.gofundme.com/calebnorlingsservicedog
http://www.azcentral.com/story/sports/high-school/2016/03/03/peoria-centennial-baseball-player-cerebral-palsy-getting-his-shot-score-run/80980524/
http://www.azcentral.com/story/sports/high-school/2016/03/08/caleb-comes-home-cerebral-palsy-baseball-player-scores-first-run/81478878/
Wow. I can not believe I have been in treatment for twenty-one days. Honestly, it seems like yesterday I was receiving my first round of chemo.What is ever crazier is that I've been able to captivate all of you for nearly four months now. Time sure does fly by when we're having fun.
Today was much like yesterday. I woke-up with the typical sore throat and dry mouth. I had a slight headache, but that went away once I got out of bed and started moving around.
I experienced something today that I never in my life would have imagined. Bacon nearly made me barf. Jess made breakfast for all the "oral eaters" this morning, which included bacon. The smell of the bacon was making my stomach turn... and not in a good way. In fact, I noticed that the smell of most foods today made me feel slightly uneasy. It truly was depressing. My love for food is being spoiled by the fact my taste sensors are all messed-up. I don't understand the science behind it, but as my taste diminishes, my smell seems to be greatly effected. The things I used to find pleasant smelling are no longer appreciated. In case your wondering... bad things still smell bad.
My hair continues to fall out. I decided to go ahead and shave my face now to prevent my face from looking like a case of mange. There is no hiding the back of my head, but it only appears to go up a couple inches. I just got a haircut a couple days ago. If I knew my hair was going to fall out this soon, I would have had the stylist cut my hair a little closer to the skin. Oh well...
Well... I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Tomorrow starts week four for me: radiation Monday through Friday and chemotherapy on Tuesday.
On a side note. My friend Troy has put together a GoFundMe for his son Caleb. Caleb is a shining star of a young man that lives his life kicking Cerebral Palsy butt. He has recently been selected to receive a top notch service dog. This service dog will enable Caleb to live a more independent life, away from the constant constraints of a walker. I beg you to check out his story. I've added the link to the GoFundMe page, as well as some other links that will allow you to see how inspirational and deserving this young man is!
https://www.gofundme.com/calebnorlingsservicedog
http://www.azcentral.com/story/sports/high-school/2016/03/03/peoria-centennial-baseball-player-cerebral-palsy-getting-his-shot-score-run/80980524/
http://www.azcentral.com/story/sports/high-school/2016/03/08/caleb-comes-home-cerebral-palsy-baseball-player-scores-first-run/81478878/
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