The Final Stand - Day 14

Good evening. I hope you all are having a wonderful Memorial Day weekend.

Today has been a lot like yesterday. I lounged around for the most part... watching movies while trying to find things to eat that I can still tolerate. There is little to no change to report on the medical front. If anything, the little sores in my mouth may have developed into slightly larger sores. There is still no pain, just a slight discomfort in the back of the throat. It feels like I have permanent, incurable dry mouth, which is irritating. All-in-all, I'm still standing strong.

I learned today that one of my best friends competed in and completed his first full marathon. His name is Randy... the same Randy that joined me on my trip to San Diego and sat by my side while I received my first round of chemo. I want to discuss some of my thoughts from today that were a result of Randy's outstanding accomplishment.

I would like to think most people are a lot like me. I have dreams and aspirations. There are things I want to do, places I want to see, and people I want to connect with. I would love it if I could have all my wishes come true, but reality is, like most people, I will most likely procrastinate until the possibility is no longer there. Now hear me out... this is not meant to be sad or depressing. I don't know if running a marathon was one of Randy's "to-do" wish-list items, but it made me think about some of mine:

I have wanted to hike the entire Pacific Coast Trail, from the boarder of Mexico to the boarder of Canada. Assuming this whole cancer thing works out and I am not left with any physical limitations... I would like to think this dream is still very much a possibility. But what if... What if the cancer leaves me crippled in one way or another? What if I am faced with the sad truth that this one dream will go unfulfilled? It's not the end of the world... I know this. But is it possible we play our lives too safe? Are we holding ourselves back from allowing our dreams to become realities?

The PCT may be a bad example because there is no way I would be able to take four to five months off from the military. But, lets pretend one of my dreams was to complete a marathon. Randy is in the Air Force. What would keep me from achieving this dream over the last seventeen years? Nothing... really. I guess what I'm trying to get at is... I need to avoid getting stuck in a rut and start looking for opportunities to accomplish some of my personal desires. I don't mean that I should ignore life's obligations... I just need to be more careful not to use my obligations as an excuse not to do the things I desire most. If I want to run a marathon... I need to look for opportunities where I can work it into my life. I need a little more "carpe diem" in my life. Why? Because you never know what surprises life will throw at you tomorrow.

Congratulations Randy on completing your first marathon. That is a huge accomplishment! You've inspired me to reach for the stars.