The Final Stand - Day 32

Good evening everyone.

I need to make this blog quick. I'm super annoyed right now, and really just want to go back to sleep.

I had radiation today - number 21 of 30 (almost there). I got to see the doc today, which went down as it usually does... I sit in a waiting room for 20 minutes... he comes in a asks me how I'm doing... he asks if I need any medication refills... and leaves. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I feel an attempt of human interaction worth my twenty minutes of waiting should be a minimum.

I also had an appointment with a speech therapist. The appointment was not geared towards speech, it was more a swallow study and educational opportunity.  My doctors want to make sure I do not put myself in a position where I lose the ability to swallow. From what the therapist told me... radiation can cause fibrosis in the neck muscles that aid in swallowing. We want me to maintain my swallowing function so that I can come off this feeding tube as soon as possible. So, she gave me a couple exercises to complete everyday. A couple of them deal with different ways to swallow, while the other four or five are tongue exercises.

I've been battling this mucositis all day. I can not seem to keep my mouth and throat clear of this foul crap. It seems to build-up inside me faster than I can get rid of it. The only way I can get rid of it is by gargling with saltwater and then nearly choke to death as I hack and cough it up into the sink. The mucus itself is mostly soft right now, but I do get a harder secretion from time to time. Even though soft, the mucus is very sticky, which means I have stings of nasty mucus hanging from my face as I'm trying to clear my airway. It latches to my tongue like a spider monkey on it's mother's back.

Aside from that, I executed my day as I have for weeks: wake-up, feed, sleep, wake-up, shower, feed, go to appointment, feed, sleep, wake-up, feed, watch some television, and blog.

Thursdays always seem to be my worst days. Looking back on the last 32 days, I'm always whining on Thursdays. Perhaps I should just skip them...

The good news is... we're almost to the end. It may take awhile to hit recovery, but knowing the radiation and chemo is behind me will be a huge sense of relief.

I hope you all are doing well! Goodnight.