The Final Stand - Day 35

Happy Father's Day!

I don't know what to say... cancer has me on my heels. If there is a breaking point at which someone finds themselves at with cancer... today was my day. First, I woke-up to burns on my neck. I thought I was going to get lucky, but that does not seem to be the case. I have burns around my collar bones. My shirt irritates them when I move my head in any direction. Then, the mucus build-up has gotten so bad that at any random moment, I find myself choking on my own secretions. The choking got so bad that I found myself throwing-up in the kitchen sink. Lastly, my moral has been shattered. Jess and I made the decision to send the kids away for the summer so they don't have to see me in this condition. Well, here it is... Father's Day, and I'm without any my children. I really do miss them.

I hate feeling this exposed. I know I'm almost to the end. I know I will survive this. I know...

For a man with little patience... this is torture. The fight against cancer is torture. Nothing about it is quick and painless. Instead you feel like the treatment itself is slowly killing you. It's not like an accident, where you begin your path of recovery getting better each and every day. No, cancer requires you to suffer... a little bit at a time. Everyday is slightly worst than the last. THEN... once on your knees begging for mercy... recovery begins. What a horrible joke! This disease is SICK!

I'll try to be more chipper tomorrow. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.