As you may know by now, Mondays are always extremely long because I have both chemo and radiation. But, before I get to my appointments... lets recap where I stand medically:
I woke-up at 4:00 because my mouth sores were killing me. I could have used my Magic Mouthwash to sooth the sores, but my brain became overwhelmed by thoughts... thus ending any chance of going back to sleep. My throat and neck are about the same as they were over the weekend - sore throat and a red neck. Yee-haw! I'm pleased to report I did not have a headache or nausea, but I was experiencing some hunger pains.
Getting up early allowed me to feed early enough to allow a second feeding before we left for my appointments. I was also able to take a good two hour nap, which in hindsight is a blessing considering how long these appointments seemed to be.
I was dreading radiation today. To be honest... I'm about fed-up completely with this whole thing. But, like a good soldier... I marched in there and faced the enemy with a heart full of courage. You know... these appointments would be much worse if it weren't for the outstanding staff at both the Radiation Oncology Clinic and the North Campus Cancer Clinic. To be honest, my cheerful spirit would not exist if it weren't for the genuine care and affection these nurses show towards me each and every time I come in for treatment. It doesn't matter how dumpy I feel when I walk into the clinic... as soon as I make contact with the nurse staff... I suddenly feel much better. Part of it may be the extrovert in me responding to having social contact, but most of it is the positive energy coming from the nurses. Everyday they ask me how I'm doing and offer both encouragement and advice. They know my name, they know my diagnosis, and they know how I respond to the care I am receiving.
The only difference in today is that I had more to report to the nurses since we were coming off a weekend break. The treatment itself went well. Usually I go to sleep, but today I was too engaged in my own thoughts to nod off. I couldn't help but to think how grateful I was that the treatments were, for the most part, bearable. Going into this, I envisioned a horrific experience. Many head and neck cancer survivors report the mask as being a torture device that should not be taken lightly. I've seen entire forum topics dedicated to "surviving the mask." I can definitely see how it would be horrific to some... especially if someone if claustrophobic or has severe skin burns on the neck. I am not afraid of tight spaces and my skin has not burned so badly that the mask causes pain. For this, I am grateful.
My chemo appointment was very long. I had forgotten than Jess and I usually fill the time between radiation and chemo with a lunch date. I convinced her we needed to go straight to the clinic, which resulted in a long wait before getting to see the doctor. To fill some of that time, Jess and Oscar went to the cafe and had lunch, while I walked around looking at art and shopping in the gift store. I bought one of those cancer ribbon magnets for the house. Jess asked if I was going to put the magnet on my truck, which was met with a very quick, "NO!" I like my truck clean - no bumper stickers or magnets. I'm weird like that. Anyways, I told Jess it would be for the refrigerator.
It took close to an hour and a half before I was finally called back to see the doc. It had been a couple weeks since I got to see my primary medical oncologist. She had been on vacation and left me in the care of the physician's assistant. We talked about the tinnitus I was experiencing, which is now constant, but at a very low decibel. In fact, I can only hear the constant ringing when I am in a quiet room with no background noise. I still get the random high pitch rings, but the doc doesn't seem to be overly concerned with it. She said that if I were experiencing hearing loss then it would be a concern. The fact is... all of her previous patients that received Cisplatin reported having tinnitus while receiving chemo, but also reported it going away within three months following treatment. That's good enough for me! So... off I went for my fifth chemo infusion.
Because my appointments are always scheduled late in the day, I am always one of the last people in the treatment ward to receive my chemo infusion. Today, I was the only patient in my little pod. Jess and Oscar joined me to keep me company. We were also blessed to have the company of an old friend. One of the gals that ran the clinical trial stopped-by to catch-up. She still follows my treatment closely since my treatment results are collected for the trial's report. Jess told her about this blog, which prompted me to informed her that she has made appearances within some of the entries. She seemed interested, so I pulled out my phone so I could share with her an example of an entry she was in. The first one that caught my eye was "Deuces." This was the blog entry where I joked about having to give a stool sample. I read a couple parts to her, and she loved it.
We finally got out of the clinic at 6:00. By the time we got home, it was nearly 7:00. On any other day I would have crashed immediately, but today I am hyped-up on the steroids from the chemo. So... I helped Jess do some quick yard work, walked the dogs, and enjoyed a nice dinner with Jess. It is now 9:30 and should be tired, but I'm not. I fear I will be awake for a bit. These steroids are hard to shake, but when they die off... I usually crash hard. I think I will try my extra-strength, painkiller mouthwash tonight. It is a stronger, longer lasting pain reliever than the Magic Mouthwash. And unlike the Magic Mouthwash, it will cause me to be sleepy. The doc says it will be similar to taking Benadryl.
Goodnight everyone. Lets hope for a good Tuesday!
To learn more about my fundraiser, go-to: https://www.gofundme.com/from-cancer-warrior-to-trail-junkie
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